Weekly Hate: Please, Someone (literally) Smack Some Sense into the Schedule-makers

by uvgt2bkdnme on Oct 18, 2011 12:07 PM CDT

[Editor's Note: Moved to the front page for awesomeness]

I've waited all offseason for this: opening night. [bleep] yes, it's the start of hockey season. The start of my team's march to its 12th Stanley Cup and the fifth for a certain defenseman wearing number 5. We fans all hope he plays forever, but we must accept the reality that he will retire eventually (preferably not within our lifetimes so that we can see the Red Wings overtake the Montreal Canadiens as the team with the most Stanley Cups in franchise history).

HOLY BALLS, THERE'S A GAME TOMORROW TOO! I can't take it. So much hockey to start the season off, I'll need to get myself more acclimated. How can I possibly keep up with watching all the games the Red Wings will play and all the winning they'll do this season if it continues at this frenetic pace? Last night's win versus Ottawa started off a great campaign, and though the Red Wings have a few things to work on, they still won the game and will look to improve on their game against Colorado.

WOO! ANOTHER WIN! Just give us the Cup now, NHL, and save the rest of the teams the misery that comes with the hope that they even have a chance of hoisting that beautiful piece of 35-pound silver over their heads. Don't tease the fans like that, NHL; it's not nice.

What's that? There isn't another game until Thursday? Well that's stupid. We just had an offseason where we didn't have any hockey for 112 days after the Bruins borrowed the Stanley Cup from the Red Wings, and the Red Wings didn't play any hockey for 146 days since the NHL thought it wouldn't be fair to let Detroit have everything they rightly deserve, so they decided that a technicality like "losing a seven-game series" was enough reason to kick Detroit out of the playoffs and out of the running for the Stanley Cup.

Geez, it's finally Thursday. Took you long enough, universe. Man, 4 days without meaningful Red Wings hockey in the middle of the season. I know I've gone through worse, like the stupid Olympic break that tears out two weeks from the NHL calendar, but at least there's some meaningful hockey played, even if I'm not all that interested except in seeing Canada lose. (DAMN YOU 2010!) The Red Wings play the Canucks now, so that'll be a great early season test for the boys in red, even though the Canucks will be missing Ryan Kesler and will start Cory Schneider in goal. Wait, starting Schneider is supposed to be a bad thing for the Canucks?

AWWW YEEEE another win! Well, even if they're not coming at the pace they were last week (2 wins in 2 days), at least the Red Wings keep winning. I'll look forward to seeing them win again on Saturday! Hurray for a one-day break, for once!

That has to be the funniest overtime goal I've seen in a long time. But a win is a win is a win. When's the . . . next . . .

FRIDAY?! (Hi, Casey!) FRIDAY?!?! The Red Wings just completed a second offseason in one year, and you're giving them another FIVE DAYS OFF?!!? What the hell is wrong with you, schedule-makers? Why the hell do you put these breaks in now when the teams have just gotten over the offseason? This break would be very welcome in a time like February or March or even April to get guys ready for the stretch run and playoffs and to help players not rush in order to return from injury. Are you trying to screw with the psyche of the . . . oh, wait, I get it now.

You knew they would win the first four games of the season. You knew the rest of the league didn't stand a chance, especially with newcomer Ian White dominating in Brian Rafalski's place, Nicklas Lidstrom being TPH that he is, Jonathan Ericsson still inconsistent but on more of an upward trend than we've seen since his play in the 2009 playoffs, Jiri Hudler remembering that he used to be a great depth scorer, Valtteri Filppula putting pucks at the net, Holmstrom still taking names in his office, and the newly formed Two Kids and a Goat 3.0 terrorizing the opposition on the forecheck. You knew all about this, didn't you? So you decided to try to create a new opponent for the Red Wings, aside from the referees, the Homer goalie interference calls, and the Red Wings themselves who can be their own worst enemy at times. NOOOO, it wasn't enough for you to try to prevent the Red Wings from capturing what is rightfully theirs: their 12th Stanley Cup. So you tried to put in this screwy schedule to try to get the Red Wings off their game, keep their sharpness down, keep the rust up, make them think they're still in the offseason so that they don't just absolutely overpower the rest of the league.

Well, I got news for you, buddy: the ************' Red Wings have 8 out of 8 possible points, all before the shootout (since you made that standings change to make the shootout matter less). You sons of guns got nothing on the Winged Wheel. They take on all comers. They beat them down. Show no mercy. Nothing will get in the way of their 12th Stanley Cup; nothing will get in the way of 5 for #5, going out on top.

(Special thanks to J.J. who started this series in the summer.)

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Comments

Sure looks like some awesomesauce on that hate you got there. Mmmmmmm… tastes great!

Get your Al the Octopus

byjenniferleigh.etsy.com/

by Josh Howard on Oct 18, 2011 12:53 PM CDT reply actions 2 recs

Gotta be careful, don’t wanna get Shanabanned for hitting the schedule makers in the head, no matter how badly they deserve it.

Consequences Schmonsequences.

by traylor1 on Oct 18, 2011 3:42 PM CDT reply actions 5 recs

time well spent

You wanna tell me that to mah face?!
YET ANOTHER Detroit Red Wings blog.

by uvgt2bkdnme on Oct 18, 2011 4:25 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs

FRIDAY?! (Hi, Casey!) FRIDAY?!?!

This got that freaking Rebecca Black song stuck in my head. Jerk.

by jwin on Oct 18, 2011 7:25 PM CDT reply actions

Pure awesome sauce.

Manager of the Mursak League's Banzai Bananas. BANZAI!!!

by Dannik99 on Oct 18, 2011 8:18 PM CDT reply actions

12 in '12

And 5 for 5!
Go Wings!!!!

by InMDmissingtheD on Oct 18, 2011 11:07 PM CDT via mobile reply actions

This is actually ridiculous.

I mean.. it feels like off season.. and that’s never a good feeling unless..

by MajesticY on Oct 19, 2011 2:16 AM CDT reply actions

Yeesh.

That’s a stretch of 2 games in 12 days.

In 12.

WHERE WAS SUCH A SCHEDULE IN THE 2009 SCF ARRHGHGRHGSFTFTACGS!!!1

Let me guess, there’s a stretch late in the season of 10 games in 12 games to compensate.

On a serious note, I know it’s not easy to make a schedule and it takes a lot of work…but holy hell I thought they made it to avoid such absurd oddities.

by tehGOALIE on Oct 19, 2011 2:57 PM CDT reply actions

it's a tough job

and i know it takes months to put together.

but come on, is it really necessary for these things to happen? i don’t remember if it was last season or two seasons ago, but the Los Angeles Kings had an EIGHT day break between games in the middle of the season, and they lost all good momentum built up before that break. they recovered and made the playoffs, but they were never again as sharp or as good as they were before the break.

so the Red Wings are far from the only team to get screwed over by something like this.

You wanna tell me that to mah face?!
YET ANOTHER Detroit Red Wings blog.

by uvgt2bkdnme on Oct 19, 2011 4:52 PM CDT up reply actions

and i know it takes months to put together.

Why? I don’t think it would be too hard to code for schedules along certain parameters, and you throw in the extra rule here and there and there you go.

Red Line Station and @RedArmyLine, featuring coverage of the most frustrating team in the NHL
I believe in next year.

by red army line on Oct 21, 2011 11:12 PM CDT up reply actions

i'm basing it off the fact that the NBA schedule czar Matt Winick starts his endeavor in February and ends it in August

but when you really think about it, i don’t see how it can be done in a single month, let alone a few days:

1) arenas have other events planned FAR in advance. so arenas give the NHL a set of dates to schedule 41 home games.

2) some arenas also have to deal with multiple tenants, and while the NBA is currently in a lockout that’s threatening their season, the schedule is still planned with the thought that NBA teams will need to play games in more than just a few arenas as well.

3) building road trips has to do with some arena availability issues (like the yearly road trip by Chicago around the same time every year). so during that time, the schedule would probably send Chicago to the Pacific, right? well, if they happen to play Anaheim and Los Angeles but not San Jose, the issue is probably San Jose’s arena availability.

4) all this, while the schedule tries to maintain its current matrix: 6 games against division, 4 against conference non-division, 1 inter-conferene plus 3 wild cards.

so basically, i kind of stretched out the arena availability issue a lot. and while as a thought exercise, it seems like a cakewalk to schedule 41 home games, the reality is that the schedule tries to create 82 games with 41 home games included in that figure in a limited amount of time (6+ months). add to that the complexity of doing that for 30 teams, and it just seems intuitive to me that an exercise like this would take months.

just think about it (or not because it racks my brain when i try): you’ve schedule all the Red Wings home games from October to April. then you fit in their away games, and bam, you’ve got 82 games. who’s the Red Wings first opponent? Chicago? ok, so now try to schedule their 41 home games, keeping in mind the Bulls’ home games, and 41 away games, making sure the opponents don’t conflict with the Red Wings and that they still maintain the schedule matrix. so now you’ve got two teams scheduled. who’s the Red Wings second opponent? Los Angeles? ok, so schedule their 41 home games, keeping in mind Clippers’ and Lakers’ home games, and their 41 away games, making sure opponents aren’t double-booked for either the Red Wings or the Blackhawks. then do it for the fourth team and fifth all the way up to the thirtieth team. remember though: this thought exercise is with a free schedule when games can happen anywhere at any time. the reality is that arenas only have a certain number of dates available. add to that the fact that the schedule matrix still needs to be maintained, and my brain is fried just typing all this. and as if you didn’t have enough to worry about, even knowing that there will still be complaints with the end result, you still try to make people happy by not giving them ridiculous road trips or by not needlessly increasing travel expenses by having (let’s say) Carolina travel to Los Angeles, Anaheim, San Jose, and Vancouver on separate road trips.

i can sympathize that it’s a tough job, and while i say most of the complaints in this fanpost with a bit of sneer and sarcasm because it is a tough job, it doesn’t absolve the schedule maker(s) from criticism over oddities like the 4- and 5-day breaks the Red Wings have had in the first few weeks of this season.

ESPN has an interview with Winick that gives a little bit more insight into this, and i pulled the “months” number from this linked source. i haven’t found a concrete source that delves into all that goes on in the making of an NHL schedule, but considering that the NBA schedule is structured most similarly, i think it’s a good base for comparison.

You wanna tell me that to mah face?!
YET ANOTHER Detroit Red Wings blog.

by uvgt2bkdnme on Oct 22, 2011 9:12 AM CDT up reply actions

Still, if they’re not using computers for this, even if for just the preliminary schedule that’ll be changed for priority dates…how much money do the NHL and NBA make again?

Red Line Station and @RedArmyLine, featuring coverage of the most frustrating team in the NHL
I believe in next year.

by red army line on Oct 22, 2011 10:32 AM CDT up reply actions

i would imagine they do

from the Winick interview:

“There’s a computer program I work with that helps. But basically it’s me — and the computer prevents me from doing stupid things.”

“Nothing is easy. The computer program is great. It puts everything together in an orderly way and makes it as easy as possible, but there are no easy schedules. And I’m not just talking about the NBA. I’m talking about football, baseball, hockey. We all have issues.”

You wanna tell me that to mah face?!
YET ANOTHER Detroit Red Wings blog.

by uvgt2bkdnme on Oct 22, 2011 2:55 PM CDT up reply actions