X Reasons - Please No Nickleback Edition

Bert has looked horrible this year! Homer takes to many stupid penalties. Sit those two and put goose and burns in and see if they cant help rally the troops. Make the Mule play third line and put one of the kids in his spot. Make these guys realize that they can be replaced and maybe you can get more effort out of them.

Anaheim is also having a tough time, but they will play tough. If its anything like that last 5 games, they will probably employ some sort of 1-2-2 forecheck and keep everything to the outside in their own zone. That way the wings can rack up a ton of shots again without scoring any goals leading to quotes like “we had our chances” or “we doubled them in shots.” If Babcock and the wings aren’t smart enough figure out that defensive system, then fuck them. Maybe he isn’t that good of a coach. We can call it boring all we want, the bottom line is that the wings are getting shitcanned by it. If an opposing coach goes by any other game plan at this point, they should be fired on the spot.

The WIngs need to start playing their game! Don’t try and play like other teams do play Red Wing puck possession hockey!! and put the puck in the f’ing net already!! lol

For a lot of these hits receiving suspension, the picture shown for the hit isn’t fair to the hitter and doesn’t really show what truly happened. The picture above is an exception. I’d say Hannan should face a 4-5 game suspension, but the fact that Hudler came back probably helps Hannan.

Bench Bertuzzi- play Hulktuzzi
Bench Franzen-play Franzenstein
Bench Datsyuk- play the Dangles the Magician
Bench Zetterberg- play the faceoff winning, puck shooting, corner owning, puck posessing, backchecking, opponent owning mofo we’ve come to expect
Bench Commodore- play Hulkadore
Bench Kronwall-play The Kronwaller
Bench Ericsson- play E52
Bench Homer- play the Demolition man
Bench Hudler-play the MMA Scuttles

You get where I’m going here.

Can we put something in the water to make the boys angry?

Combine the god-awful play of our team with the god-awful music of Nickleback. Every single time there’s a stoppage, play their “hit” song Photograph and their other “hit” song Photograph. I mean obviously everyone watching the game will have to mute the tv the entire game(s) but hopefully the terrible, terrible, oh god why is it so terrible, my IQ just dropped a couple points from just hearing 5 seconds of that white noise, music will force the other team to play worse. (We’re safe from the music because we can’t play worse).

And now I’m going to have to go kill myself because I just suggested actually playing Nickleback which regardless the scenario should be punishable by death

But part of the reason Canadians particularly hate them is because of the CRTC. It’s a government agency basically designed to ensure Canadian culture isn’t completely dominated by American media. So they give tv and radio a ton of guidelines to follow, including what percentage of content has to be Canadian.

On radio, the percentage is ridiculous, so we hear fucking Nickleback every 20 minutes. It’s infuriating and we want them to die in a fire.