Chris Porter doing his best "Walk like an Oshie" impression.
The game was 10-3 for St. Louis and I'm looking at a boxscore that reads like a Tolstoy story. Let's skip the crap and get to the meat, shall we?
Not much to say about the reffing. When your team craps the bed this bad, you don't really notice them. I'll say that I'm glad the Wings and Blues didn't give them reason late to worry about losing control of the game. Tempers came up briefly, but it didn't approach ugly at any point as far as players angrily taking runs at people. The Blues went 2-for-4 on the power play while the Wings 1-for-3. St. Louis took 47 of the 91 shots on goal from this one.
Scoring and plus/minus analysis after the jumpThe Goals
Not as much detail here as in lower-scoring affairs. That's what happens when the teams combine for three games' worth of goals.
1st Period 5:51 - Detroit Goal: Mike Modano (wrist shot) from Tomas Holmstrom
Nikita Nikitin breaks his stick on a shot attempt at the top of the Wings zone, springing Modano and Holmstrom. The two Wings forwards head up ice on a 2-on-1.5. Homer skates on the wing and fires a low slap shot that Halak kicks straight out into the slot for Modano to pick up and slide past him. Modano will get an assist. He was the first to get the puck and he poked it forward to Homstrom, who had built forward momentum quicker to press the play.
1st Period 14:06 - St. Louis Goal: Chris Stewart (backhand) from Patrik Berglund and Vladimir Sobotka
Shattenkirk throws a weak wrister that MacDonald plays to the corner. Franzen goes back toward the middle with it past Rafalski straight to a Blue. Sobotka gets it and passes to Berglund on the doorstep right out front. MacDonald stops it, but it squeaks under him and sits behind him just long enough for Chris Stewart to get his stick in and complete the goal. Bertuzzi will be cleared of his minus; he was never part of this play and was covering up top like he should have been. Franzen gets an extra minus for the down-low turnover that leads tot his goal. Lidstrom gets an extra minus for both failing to block the Sobotka centering attempt to Berglund and failure to eliminate Stewart's stick. Rafalski gets an extra half-minus for letting Sobotka get the centering attempt off.
1st Period 16:04 - St. Louis Goal: Cam Janssen (kick in) from Ryan Reaves and Philip McRae
Reaves gets an outlet pass from Janssen and carries in 1-on-2 which turns into 2-on-3 as Helm and Janssen join. Reaves goes off the boards to get around Lidstrom and throws a puck on net that MacDonald doesn't gather up. Cam Janssen's rush on net is paid off as he gets a skate on it and his momentum (sans kicking motion) pushes the puck in past MacDonald. Hudler and Cleary will not get minuses; they both stepped on behind the play for two other forwards who weren't at fault. Helm gets an extra half-minus for backing off Janssen in St. Louis' zone to allow the breakout. Lidstrom gets an extra minus for playing too weak on Reaves. Ericsson gets an extra minus for letting Janssen get behind him. Also, this is pretty bad rebound control by MacDonald and he will be credited with a bad goal.
1st Period 17:55 - Detroit Goal: Todd Bertuzzi (tip in) from Johan Franzen and Valtteri Filppula
The Wings forecheck aggressively as Bertuzzi wins a race to a puck at the boards and pushes it behind the net where D'Agostini picks it off and tries to clear up the other boards. Filppula picks this off, pulls it off the boards and whips a pass to Franzen standing in the slot for a one-time wrister which Bertuzzi tips past Halak, off the post, and in. Bertuzzi and Filppula will each get bonus half-pluses for the forechecking. Bert will also get a half-assist.
1st Period 18:24 - St. Louis Goal: Joey Porter (wrist shot) unassisted
Porter pressures Rafalski in the neutral zone and tips the pass that Raffi tries to get through him. This brings Porter in on MacDonald's right side straight through the faceoff circle. Porter rips a wrist shot from the dot to the far side over the glove to break the tie. Rafalski gets an extra minus for the shitty pass that gets blocked. Holmstrom and Abdelkader keep minuses for not winning a center ice puck battle which would have made this whole play moot. Kindl and Modano are cleared of minuses; not much either could have done to have prevented this.
2nd Period 1:54 - St. Louis Goal (PP): Matt D'Agostini (tip in) from Nikita Nikitin and Vladimir Sobotka
Abdelkader breaks his stick on a penalty kill, which prevents the Wings from clearing a puck after he can't glove out a pass that the Blues try to make through him. Backes throws a centering pass that Sobotka kicks to Nikitin for a shot-pass at D'Agostini all alone down low. D'Agostini directs it in with his skate, but with no kicking motion (again) for a good goal. Ericsson will get the only minus on this play. Abby's stick breaking is an unfortunate accident, but when the pass goes to D'Agostini (Ericsson's man), the big stupid Swede is covering the half-boards where there is not a Blues player within ten feet of him.
2nd Period 5:23 - St. Louis Goal: BJ Crombeen (wrist shot) from Andy McDonald and Roman Polak
Hudler blocks one shot attempt with his stick, but then screws up the good feelings here as he tries to go through the middle to start a rush and sees the puck deflect off a Blues player and stay in. The puck takes two more crazy bounces as both Stuart and Zetterberg can't clear it. Eventually, McDonald pushes it to Crombeen, who brings it from his backhand to his forehand and fires a shot past the goalie from the middle of the Wings' zone. Hudler will get an extra minus-and-a-half. Stuart will get an extra half-minus. Zetterberg will get an extra half-minus. Kronwall will have his minus halved, as he makes a decent play and is in good defensive position, but is still too close to the play without having prevented the goal. Cleary will have his minus erased. He has to try to start up ice when Hudler turns the puck over.
2nd Period 10:04 - St. Louis Goal (PP): David Backes (snap shot) from Kevin Shattenkirk and Matt D'Agostini
Late in this St. Louis power play, the Blues score as every single one of the penalty killers had an opportunity to make either a smarter or more physical (or both) play on the puck and instead plays tentative, allowing D'Agostini to outmuscle a player for a pass to Shattenkirk, who threads it from one corner behind McCollum's net to Backes out front on the other side to one-time a top-shelf goal. Every PKer gets a minus here. Lidstrom, Miller and Helm get their minuses for not playing physically enough to get to the puck while Kronwall gets his minus for failing to block the pass to Backes for the one-timed snap shot.
2nd Period 12:37 - Detroit Goal (PP): Henrik Zetterberg (wrist shot) from Nicklas Lidstrom and Johan Franzen
At the direct expiration of a 5-on-3, the Wings get a goal as Franzen goes to Lidstrom at the point for a shot through traffic. The shot goes off the goalpost behind Halak, but Zetterberg gets to the rebound out front and puts it in. Zetterberg will get an assist for passing to Franzen and moving around well to create space for the shot. Holmstrom will also get the screener's assist.
2nd Period 14:47 - St. Louis Goal: Roman Polak (snap shot) from Chris Porter and BJ Crombeen
Jakub Kindl loses a puck battle behind the net to Chris Porter not once, but twice, as Porter at one point goes up the boards to Crombeen and then receives the puck back. With enough space to move around behind the net, Porter goes from one side to the other behind the goal and finds Roman Polak sneaking in from the point for a one-timed snap shot past McCollum. Kindl will get an extra minus-and-a-half for losing two board battles and Filppula will get an extra minus for losing Polak as he comes in from the point. Franzen and Holmstrom are covering their man and point respectively and won't get minuses. Rafalski keeps his minus for not playing close enough to Crombeen to prevent the pass back to Porter.
2nd Period 16:10 - St. Louis Goal: Vladimir Sobotka (wrist shot) from Chris Stewart and Nikita Nikitin
The Blues fight to get the puck around three forecheckers as Stewart skates up ice and dumps a harmless shot on McCollum from the wrong side of the blue line. McCollum can't control the rebound and leaves it out front. Right as he 's trying to recover from his mistake, Sobotka comes in and pokes it through him. This is a bad goal for McCollum, but I'm going to let Ericsson keep his minus for turning the wrong way without eliminating Sobotka's stick. Everybody else gets cleared. Lidstrom, Abdelkader, Hudler, and Bertuzzi will not get minuses.
3rd Period 6:21 - St. Louis Goal: Patrik Berglund (snap shot) from Chris Stewart and Kevin Shattenkirk
Following a long shift of the Wings skating around their own zone content to hope that the Blues would turn the puck over instead of trying to force that to happen, The Wings almost get their wish as Stewart throws a cross-ice pass trying to hit Berglund at the back door. Lidstrom gloves the puck down, but promptly loses it to Berglund, who snaps it over MacDonald. Everyone keeps his minus here and Lidstrom will pick up an extra minus-and-a-half. He half-asses this attempt to control the puck off his own glove instead of making a safer play to bat it away.
3rd Period 17:50 - St. Louis Goal: Chris Porter (wrist shot) from Cam Janssen and Adam Cracknell
The Blues finish off the scoring as Janssen outmuscles Kindl on the boards to get a centering pass to Porter in front. Porter beats Modano for the puck and pokes it through a completely hapless Joey MacDonald. Modano will pick up the extra minus for letting Porter get this opportunity off. Kindl forces what should be a low-percentage play, so he doesn't get extra blame. No additional adjustments.
1st Period 00:18 - Johan Franzen (Tripping): This one is incidental contact that gets called because it looks worse. The two players touch the outsides of their skates together and Chris Stewart goes down. Nothing for Franzen, but I'm going to give a half-minus to Ericsson for a defensive zone turnover here that leads to the eventual call.
1st Period 7:01 - Jiri Hudler (Interference): I don't like that a guy who has planted his feet is expected to get out of the way of a forechecker, but Hudler should know better than to throw a check here. Hudler gets a minus.
2nd Period 00:14 - Johan Franzen (Roughing): Trying to prove he can do better than taking a penalty 18 seconds into a period, Franzen gets his hands up on Sobotka early in the 2nd period and goes for roughing. Minus for Franzen.
2nd Period 6:07 - Adam Cracknell (Hooking): Holmstrom cuts to the middle deep in the Blues zone with the puck and forces Cracknell to hook him to prevent a good scoring chance. Homer gets a plus.
2nd Period 8:24 - Henrik Zetterberg (Holding): Z gets his free hand around a player from behind. That's a minus for Zetterberg.
2nd Period 10:34 - Ian Cole (Holding the Stick): Filppula skates to the front and is denied an opportunity at a puck thanks to Ian Cole grabbing his stick. Not a bad penalty to take by Cole to prevent what might have been a goal for Filppula and I like Flip being in position here to draw this call. It's about 50/50 good play by Filppula and bad play by Cole, so I'm going to give Filppula a half-plus
2nd Period 11:40 - Blues Bench Minor (Too Many men): Unforced bench error by St. Louis. No Adjustment.
3rd Period 10:53 - Johan Franzen and Kevin Shattenkirk (Unsportsmanlike): Behind a play where St. Louis scores, these two chirp at each other and cause the whistle that ends this play. Part of me wants to award Franzen a plus for helping stave off a goal, but that would be ridiculous. No adjustment.
The funny thing is that even with how terrible this game was, there's not much for extra minuses to give out. Nearly every mistake made turned into a goal. Still, I have a couple:
-1 to Niklas Kronwall and Brad Stuart: Both had three giveaways. These two combined to make up six of the Wings' 11 officially credited giveaways. In the immortal words of every Charles Barkley impersonator out there "That's turrble."
Honorable Mentions: None