Weekly Hate: Why your Favorite UFA Defenseman Sucks
by J.J. from Kansas on Jun 27, 2011 4:37 PM CDT
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Print[Editor's Note: This probably won't be a weekly thing, but I'm not closing any doors just yet]
Unrestricted free agency in the NHL officially starts this Friday at noon (or earlier, if you live in a time zone where they play good hockey). This news hasn't meant so much to Red Wings fans in a long time. Coming off of Brian Rafalski's retirement and almost a $5M jump in the salary cap, Detroit's management finds themselves a group of real buyers for the first time since the last lockout. With about $16M in space, Detroit will look to replace Rafalski's production on the blue line as best they can before filling out the remainder of the roster.
As such, there are a handful of unrestricted free agent defensemen the NHL that Wings fans have their collective eyes on. Each of those D-Men have until Friday to re-sign with the team for whom they played last season, but it's a pretty good guarantee that most of them will test the somewhat shallow free agent market to see how many GMs they can get to overspend for them. Since Detroit's options are limited to "pick one of these guys" or "get ready for the year of the Janik [shudder]", it's pretty clear they're going to have to sign a D-man and hope that the magic of putting on the Red Wings' uniform will do the trick.
Let's take a look at some of the higher-profile guys. Follow me after the jump for more.
I figure that there's a half-dozen of these guys and the Wings are only going to end up with one (maybe two). Therefore, I've decided to call them all terrible. The good news is that it will turn out that I'll be right about five out of six. When whoever the lucky guy is actually signs, I'll apologize for saying he sucks. Until then, here's the list of assholes:
Drafted: 4th Overall (2002) - Philadelphia Flyers
Last Contract: Made $4.5M in the third and final year of a deal with a $4M cap hit.
Why he sucks:
Pitkanen was the 2nd defenseman taken in the 2002 draft (behind fellow bust Jay Bouwmeester) in front of guys named Wisniewski, Ballard, Whitney, Babchuk, Daley, and Duncan Keith; all of these guys are better at playing defense than Joni Pitkanen. He's been so important to the makeup of the teams he's been on that he's been traded twice in his career; once because he was deemed about as valuable as Joffrey Lupul. He made the All-Rookie team in 2003-04 and then fell off the map, probably breaking his patella in the process. This guy has never sniffed 80 games in a season, his last trip in the I-have-a-boo-boo mobile was because of food poisoning in late March. I don't really blame him for that though, because I'd also have trouble stomaching Carolina Hurricanes hockey for an entire season. Just think, Wings fans, for a mere $5M (or, comparatively, $2M too much), you too could have a guy who breaks down more often than a Ducati and has the same problems with consistency as the guy who was taken 287 spots after him in the draft, a one Mr. Jonathan Ericsson.
Drafted: 101st overall (2001) - San Jose Sharks
Last Contract: Made $3.4M in the third and final year of a deal with a $3.1M cap hit
Why he sucks:
Better than Pitkanen, Errorhoff rose above his draft station to be worthwhile enough to the Sharks to be dumped off to make salary cap room in 2009. This crucial bit of any team's defensive future has the stink of Vancouver's Stanley Cup Finals failure all over him, as he managed to put up an impressively horrible -13 rating in the playoffs while being unable to stop offensive powerhouse teams like the Predators and Bruins. If we're looking to add another left-shooting defenseman who can't put up points as well as Rafalski could while also being able to play defense no better, at least he's the second-best German defenseman in the league... maybe.
Drafted: 1st Overall (1994) - Florida Panthers
Last Contract: Made $6M in the last of a 5 year deal with a $6.5M cap hit
Why he sucks:
There aren't very many players in the game who have enough NHL experience to have a pixelated avatar in a SNES game and there are even fewer who are worth around $6M. In fact, Nick Lidstrom is the only one. Ed Jovanovski is not Nick Lidstrom. He's not even close. Unless you've got a direct line to Mr. Peabody and his WABAC machine, we're about three years past Jovanovski's expiration date. It's funny to think that a guy who is actually younger than the team's captain seems more like he's hockey's version of the guy who drank out of the wrong cup in Indiana Jones & the Last Crusade. When he grabbed Darren Helm by the neck after a clean hit in the playoffs and tried boring him to death with stories about what pictures used to be on his money as a kid, it was pretty clear that Jovo is done at a high level.
Drafted: 191st overall (2002) - Toronto Maple Leafs
Last Contract: Made $2,999,995 on a one-year deal
Why he sucks:
If playing hockey were all about having an awesome moustache then sign Ian White up yesterday. However, playing hockey is more about showing the mental growth it takes to not sign a contract where you and an idiot GM squabbled over whether or not you're worth $3M or $5 less than that. Here's a piece of advice: if you ever walk away from a contract negotiation leaving Darryl Sutter convinced he just won a pissing contest with you, then you suck. Also, for a five-year veteran, I should be able to remember a single thing he's done in his own zone and I can't.
Drafted: 204th Overall (1996) - Toronto Maple Leafs
Last Contract: Made $4.25M in the last year of a 5 year deal worth $4.25M per season
Why he sucks:
No offense to my handsome and debonair blogging partner, but Kaberle looks like Graham would look if he were born with the wrong number of chromosomes. For 6'1" 214lbs, it's a little disheartening to go looking for an indication of how he plays the physical game and get answers like "what physical game?" As for his offensive game? Kaberle isn't so much a puck-moving defenseman as he is a hit-avoiding chicken. He passes so much because he plays like he doesn't want to get hurt. He apparently has the same level of concern for the puck's well-being also because he never shoots the damn thing. If we're just looking for a guy to take up space, I'm pretty sure Derek Meech will come a lot cheaper.
Drafted: 156th overall (2002) - Chicago Blackhawks
Last Contract: Made $3.25M on a one-year deal
Why he sucks:
Remember when Sean Avery's idiot antics and stupid penalties got him run out of Detroit? Yeah, well that's what bringing in Wisniewski would bring back to the Wings: a talented but hot-headed me-first manchild. Signing Wisniewski would double the amount of regular season games that Red Wings players have on their career suspension cards, but at least it would improve them in the standings for the best NHL team to root for in a game of dirty charades. Sure, he'd come cheaper than Raffi and could be just about as valuable all-around, but do you really want to see Jonathan Ericsson get another big opportunity to pick up minutes when this guy goes apeshit, forgets who he plays for, and gives Tomas Holmstrom a big ol' Hassan Chop to the back of the neck?
So there you have it, folks. The six defensemen most likely to be brought to Detroit this season and they all suck... except for the guy that they end up signing. When it comes to that guy, read what I said about him and know that I was honestly kidding. As for the rest of them? Worthless, the whole lot.
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Agreed
I’m not at all pleased with this batch of free agent defensemen, and if it means signing someone really low on my list to a one-year deal (Jovanovski) to bridge the gap to 2012, when real hockey players are available, as opposed to signing “the least of all evils, but still pretty shitty” like James Wisniewski for six years… I think I’d do it. Despite thinking every single player on this list sucks donkey balls.
Just because Wisniewski is the best fit for the Red Wings this season… doesn’t mean that he’s a Red Wings-type player. Some years, free agency just sucks, and that’s what 2011 does. I can’t imagine getting into a bidding war for a player that even the New York Islanders jettisoned. Pay attention now: in the last three years, Wisniewski has been a member of four NHL clubs and an AHL club. Screams “best available,” doesn’t it?
Whoever the Red Wings sign will INSTANTLY become my least favorite Red Wing, unless — of course — the Jonathan Ericsson news is true.
My God, I hope something goes terribly awry with Shea Weber’s arbitration hearing.
by Michael Petrella on Jun 27, 2011 4:50 PM CDT reply actions
Real hockey players?
You mean like Sheldon Souray, Michal Rosival, John Michael-Liles, Dennis Wideman, Pavel Kubina, Jaroslav Spacek, Francois Beauchemin, Ryan Suter, etc.?
The only one on that entire list that is attractive is Ryan Suter, the rest are all awful players who aren’t only average, but old. Honestly, why the hate for Wisniewski is so prevalent is beyond me. I mean, yeah, the dude played for the Ducks. I hated him. But it was pretty obvious that Garth Snow signed him specifically to trade him, and Montreal is between a rock and a hard place in having to resign Markov and Subban next year, plus Roman Hamrlik (who is unbelieveably underrated, IMO) . Otherwise, I think Wisniewski stays.
I dunno. I just don’t see next year’s list being as awesome as everyone keeps saying. It looks like a year full of Ed Jovanovskis featuring Ryan Suter.
by eight_legged_freaks on Jun 27, 2011 11:05 PM CDT up reply actions
Ryan Suter is better than any two of these UFAs combined. I want the Wings to go after Wisniewski, but I don’t want the guy if it’s going to take a 5 year, $30M deal to get that done.
Also, next year’s UFA class includes Kronwall and Stuart, who are possibles to incur bidding wars of their own. Ryan Suter is the only defenseman in the next two years worth of UFA classes that I would even consider losing Kronwall to get.
by J.J. from Kansas on Jun 28, 2011 8:39 AM CDT up reply actions
Do you really see Stuart going higher than 4?
I can’t. Kronwall I can see getting 6. But we all have to remember the Lidstrom is probably off the books next year. That plus no Homer, Bertuzzi, Hudler gives the Wings ample cap room to retain Kronner and Stuart. I don’t want Wis at 6, but I will take him at 4-4.5.
by eight_legged_freaks on Jun 28, 2011 12:21 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
Lidstrom's cap space won't be enough.
Remember that as we lose Holmstrom, Bertuzzi, and Hudler, we also have to replace them with similar salaries (if not higher ones), unless Mursak, Tatar, and Emmerton all go gangbusters on their potential.
But I honestly don’t know what’s going to happen with the salary cap after the CBA expires next summer. I don’t think we’ll be able to rely on the concept of it going up another $5M and that there’s a good chance we’ll have to adjust for it actually going down slightly. By all rights and purposes, Suter will probably command more than Lidstrom is making next season. Kronwall demands significantly more than he’s making now. Stuart sure as heck doesn’t deserve less.
I want to compete for the cup this year. I do believe the Wings need a solid 2nd-pairing guy. But, if there’s a bidding war for Wisniewski or any of the rest of these jerkholes that’s going to cost us the ability to retain the D-men we have now while also taking a run at Ryan Suter, then I’d almost rather roll the dice on offering Brad Richards $8.5M to play for us this year and praying to holy sweet baby Jesus that Smith goes bonkers on our blue line.
by J.J. from Kansas on Jun 28, 2011 12:51 PM CDT up reply actions
Wings currently have $16mil cap space this year and $37 mil next year… Assuming no increase in the cap:
Next year Wings have the following on contract:
Paval, Z, Mule, Val, Cleary, Mursak, Emmerton, Kindl, Howard
Drops to $34 mil if Smith, Tatar, and Nyquist make the team
RFA’s:
Helm, Abdelkader
UFA’s:
Hudler, Bert, Holmstrom, Lindstrom, Stuart, and Kronwall next yr with Eaves and Miller this yr
Lets assume the following resign:
Helm $1.6 mil (same as Drapes)
Abdelkader $1.0 mil (slight raise)
Bert $1.9 mil (unchanged)
Lindstrom $6.2 mil (unchanged)
Kronwall $5.5 mil (up from $3.8 mil)
Stuart $4.0 mil (up from $3.0 mil)
Eaves $1.6 mil (same as Drapes)
That leaves $12 mil
$2 mil for a backup goalie
$5 mil for a top 4 d-man
$4 mil for a top 6 forward
And you have $1 mil pad
You lost me at "Lindstrom"
and also what whichever signings the Wings do this year will affect their cap next year.
by J.J. from Kansas on Jun 28, 2011 3:28 PM CDT up reply actions
One day
People will remember that Lindstrom plays for the Avalanche, while Lidstrom plays for the Wings.
Just another Wings fan caught between Leafs and Sabres territory.
Well sure...
It’s easy to make my argument look ridiculous when you skip over any names that are remotely interesting. While Suter may be the cream of the 2012 crop, there are any number of defensemen that I’d rather have over any of the speds offered in 2011.
Everyone’s new favorite wet dream, Brent Burns, is a UFA in ‘12 (awful and old, eh?). Everyone’s OLD favorite wet dream, Willie Mitchell, is too. As is Braydon Coburn, Greg Zanon, Brett Lebda (lols, I have them). CLEARLY, none of these players are in the Nicklas Lidstrom/Brian Rafalski tier, but no one is. I think to properly replace the calibre of player we’ll be losing on the blueline, it’s going to have to come via trade since the free agent classes in the coming summers are whack — at best.
by Michael Petrella on Jun 29, 2011 11:36 AM CDT up reply actions
Also...
Andy Greene is a darkhorse for 2011’s free agent list. He played big minutes for the Devils and chipped in a BIT (nothing like Rafalski, so he’s probably not a direct replacement), but he may come on the cheap and be able to plug one of the various holes on the back end (giggity).
by Michael Petrella on Jun 29, 2011 11:41 AM CDT up reply actions
With the way this off-season is breaking down, I've moved back to the Bogosian Train Car.
I really think this needs to happen. Sure, Bogosian would cost a crap load, but half as much as Weber or Doughty will because he’s had a rough adjustment. But he’s young, he’s big, and he could be a cornerstone for years.
Boo on Brent Burns. Boo on Willie Mitchell. Boo on Greg Zanon. And Braydon Coburn would be awesome.
All I meant was that next year’s free agents really aren’t that much better. And considering the fact that more than half will probably re-signed, the prospects for next year are really, really average.
by eight_legged_freaks on Jun 29, 2011 7:15 PM CDT up reply actions
Meh
This year’s d-man UFAs are better than next year’s overall. Sure, we have Ryan Suter coming out but after that it’s a tremendous drop off… we’re talking Willie MItchell, Johnny Oduya, Johnny Boychuk, JM Liles, and Francious Beauchimen being the top guys (and potentially Weber if only a 1 year arbitration deal).
I hate Jonathon Ericsson.
Mmmmmmm...
delicious, delicious, grape-flavoured haterade. This post was bloody hilarious.
But seriously though, yeah, the blue line’s gonna be rough this season.
Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are even stupider! --George Carlin
Holland will do what is best we can trust that at least
I was kind of eyeing a cheaper guy like Anton Babchuk, surprised he hasn’t been mentioned at all. Good +/- and solid point production, thoughts?
Writing from deep inside the stomach of a rancor.
Depending on the cost, maybe take him for a year.
I don’t think he’s very high on the Wings’ radar with the news that Ericsson is coming back. We don’t need TWO big defensemen who take too many penalties after all.
by J.J. from Kansas on Jun 27, 2011 7:31 PM CDT up reply actions
Good Point
I’m beginning to think this replacing Raffi business is a no win situation. Hopefully Brendan Smith is ready to play some solid minutes. I think Kindl is ready to step up. Maybe it doesn’t matter who we sign, if the young guys can step up in a big way.
Writing from deep inside the stomach of a rancor.
by PackerWingNut on Jun 27, 2011 8:28 PM CDT up reply actions
i'll be happy to help drum up topics for weekly hate if it should become a regular feature
is there anyone on the Red Wings roster that 1) getting rid of in a trade wouldn’t leave a hole in the roster and 2) putting in a trade for a legitimate blueliner (even for just a year until Smith is ready for full-time duty and actual defensemen are possibly on the market next season) would actually entice teams to let go of an asset like a legitimate defenseman?
You wanna tell me that to mah face?!
With the Wings' cap space
They could theoretically try to trade Filppula with a pick for a D-Man and expect decent returns. Nobody really comes to mind right now who is both comparable and available though.
by J.J. from Kansas on Jun 27, 2011 7:32 PM CDT up reply actions
Trade Filppula?
Why are wings fans so quick to trade Flip and so keen to keep Gater?
Don’t get me wrong, I understand it, the wings are pretty deep, Its like the Sharks trading away Devon Setogucchi, Trade away one of the guys that got you halfway through the playoffs while he still has some currency to fill a need in return, then watch him Cheechoo his way to mediocrity without the backup of an excellent team to support him.
Perhaps it IS a case of current trade value versus need fulfillment as to why people are quick to shop around Filppula and keep Abdelkader considering Filppula is probably the better player… and his value DID go up during the playoffs…. hmm…. I may have just answered my own question.
Love this post.
Absolutely, whole-heartedly agree. They all suck, for a lack of a better word, and they won’t be worth anywhere close to the contracts they will be getting. I still hope we pull a trade somewhere, somehow for a decent defenseman instead of going all crazy on this list of d’s. But you just can’t help but feel Wis is coming home… and getting over-paid to do so. Best hope is to sign one of these shitty UFA’s to a 1 or 2 year deal, then sign Shitbox to $2mil multi-year or whatever (As shitty as shitbox is, for $2mil it’s not a bad deal and well worth it), hope kindl and/or smith can fill in and step up.
Pitkanen was the 2nd defenseman taken in the 2002 draft (behind fellow bust Jay Bouwmeester) in front of guys named Wisniewski, Ballard, …
Bouwmeester is a bust? That’s an… interesting opinion.
http://sacrificethebody.blogspot.com/
Sacrifice the Body - Examining the NHL through statistical analysis, reasoned thought, and blind conjecture.
Bouwmeester sucks
For almost $7M a year, I expect better than 30 points. Especially from a guy who plays as much power play time as he does.
- overall pick
$6.8M cap hit
…hasn’t hit 30 points since he went to a team better than Florida.
Yep, that’s a bust.
by J.J. from Kansas on Jun 27, 2011 9:46 PM CDT up reply actions
Weird formatting fun.
(number) 3 overall pick.
by J.J. from Kansas on Jun 27, 2011 10:00 PM CDT up reply actions
Couldn't agree more.
My friend Mick is a huge Flames fan, so I end up watching a lot of Flames games. Not only does the whole fan base seem to hate the guy for not putting up numbers, but the guy can’t play in his own zone either. I have seen him turn into a giant pylon countless times.
Trade?
We could dump Hudler and a few draft picks for someone….. maybe….
I think JovoCop would be the worst.
Thanks for the year Red Wings!! Come back strong in 2012
JovoCop and Pitkanen would be AWFUL. The other guys I’m just meh about. Well, no to Kaberle too. Promote Kindl and Smith. Sign Richards or Jagr or both. Just stop letting every other team get the players you want for pete’s sake. Burns would have been a pretty good option, but of course San Jose gets him.
Just find a way to get a talented right handed defenseman. Maybe trade for Joe Corvo or something.
Ian White
Of all of these guys available, Ian White in my mind would be the best fit, he played well on a terrible Leaf team and was a cornerstone of the trade that brought that washed up already Phaneuf to the Leafs, sent to another awful team in Calgary,then a cup of coffee in Carolina, but played well for the Sharks in the playoffs, he’s not afraid to throw his weight around, and on a good defensive team like the Wings he could be a big help!
I'm surprised nobody is bringing up
Scott Hannan. I think he would be a great fit on a one- or two-year deal. Brings a physical edge to the position and plays some pretty solid defense while doing so. I think he warrants more attention.
Oh and…..SOLID post idea. This was great. Please continue it. I’ll pitch in if topics are needed.
There have been plenty of signings by Holland of players who were thought to be done but came here and had a solid time ( I didn’t think Bob Rouse was too terrible for the role we needed him, Murphy was thought by many to be on serious backslide only to have some amazing years here) and plenty of players who I thought were great here go somewhere else and blow (Osgood, Federov, Koslov). I am sure Kenny will do the right thing. Maybe I am wrong but I don’t think we need a top tier defenseman anyhow. Someone that can play on the third pair, maybe second if we are talking about injuries.
Update from the Twitters:
Apparently, Pitkanen is off the boards after signing at 3-year deal worth $4.5M per year with Carolina.
Unconfirmed* reports are that Carolina’s management was a little slow to want to shake hands on the deal for fear of Pitkanen developing tendonitis in his elbow or a sore wrist.
(*made up)
by J.J. from Kansas on Jun 28, 2011 3:37 PM CDT reply actions
Canes get Pikanen for 3 more years at $4.5 mil.
Not as grossly over-paid as I thought he would be, but 4.5mil is still definitely too much for a guy who has as many flaws in his defensive game as a defenseman. Ehrhoff’s rights have been traded to the Islanders. My intuition tells me unless he gets something more than 5.5mil+ or he will test UFA like planned, deeming this move by NYI as pointless and wasteful.
Oh how I can’t wait to celebrate(cringe) at the moment we sign one of these amazing UFA d-man.
Did Bieksa and Pikanen set the market, or Markov
Anyone hear what the Cunucks were offering Ehrhoff? Islanders are $12 mil under the cap floor, so I’m not writing off them yet… And a 4th round pick seems high for a swing and miss.
Remaining top 5
Points: Wisniewski, Ehrhoff, Kaberle, Babchuk, Hamrlik
SOG: Ehrhoff, Wisniewski, White, Babchuk, Kaberle
TOI: Ehrhoff, Wisniewski, Greene, Hamrlik, Kaberle
I think the Isles will throw a lot of money Ehrhoff's way just to help them get to the floor.
Good riddance to him too.
by J.J. from Kansas on Jun 28, 2011 9:34 PM CDT up reply actions
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