• Like a pesky zit that just will not disappear, Owen Nolan is trying to make yet another comeback to the NHL.  This time, the Irish right winger has gotten a try-out with the Stanley Cup runners-up Canucks.  He last played for the Wild in 2010.  A little over a decade ago, he was one of the best players in the league.  In the words of Nero, though, "that was a another life," and he has not been the same player in years and years.  [Nucks Misconduct]
• Wyshynski has a good article on how the Weber deal affects Drew Doughty. [Puck Daddy]
• Wysh also worries that concussion issues may cause David Perron another season as news comes out that the Blues forward will miss the start of the season because of it. [Puck Daddy]
• Helene St. James has the next player preview up, this time for Danny Cleary.  St. James wonders if Cleary will end up taking Holmstrom's spot in the top 6 this season. [Detroit Free Press]
• Josh Cooper of the Tennessean (which has the exact same website as the Free Press.  Creepy) has a good article up regarding Predators GM David Poile.  This isn't the first time Poile has had to deal with a top-tier restricted free agent defenseman. [The Tennessean via Malik]
• Lastly, the Panthers have apparently gotten sick with all the motherfracking Wings fans in their motherfracking arena.  Yesterday, their website was updated with a splash page promoting a "RedZone" where "Visiting fans [are] not welcome." [Panthers Official Website]

There is a lack of any good news (and movie/tv references) today, it would seem.  So, for off-season sanity, if there was no game of hockey, what do you think each of the Wings would have a job doing?