Let's kill some time and figure out which player currently in the NHL Wings fans hate the most
A few years ago this was an easy answer: anyone on the Penguins. Now after two consecutive playoff losses to a dirtbag Sharks team, the answer might have changed. So I'm going to keep this fair for everyone and pick the player(s) from each team most likely to garner hatred. I will try to keep it at one player per team, but there will be a couple exceptions. I will also list every player on each team and raisins why they're included on this list.
In Alphabetagammacal order:
Anaheim: One of the easiest choices to make, the Ducks have plenty of players that deserve to be scorned but Corey Perry easily takes the cake as the worst of them by far. If you don't know why Perry is on this list then there's no helping you.
Boston: Our first multi-representative team, the Bruins force you to choose between postseason shitbag Brad Marchand and Professional Ryan Miller Steamroller Milan Lucic. Both equally good choices for their actions but it might be hard for them to gather votes seeing as how the Wings weren't involved in either case.
Buffalo: The Sabres don't really have anyone Wings fans can admit to hating (maybe Tyler Myers for jacking Jimmy's Calder?) so let's just go with Ville Leino. Because, fuck Ville Leino.
Calgary: After some careful deliberation I decided to go with the most deserving Flame here, Olli Jokinen. Seriously what kind of giant asshole steals his teammates hat trick?
Carolina: The Canes are a terrible team we rarely ever play and don't really do anything at all to even warrant conversation about. So I said fuck it and put down Tuomo Ruutu.
Chicago: Finally another team with multiple options to hate. Marian Hossa deserves to be hated for completely disappearing in the 09 postseason then bolting to a hated division rival the next year. Patrick Kane is a whiny little shit who make millions a year and beats up cab drivers over spare change. Dan Carcillo is Dan Carcillo. Any of them make a fine choice.
Colorado: If this was a list back in the late 90's, it would be nothing but Colorado players. Nowadays the team is a running joke and a shell of its former self with none of its cup winners remaining. However, they do employ Shane O' Brien and that's who we're going with.
Columbus: The joke team that's dragging the Central down with it's unyielding shittiness, the Jackets players don't do anything to win games nor warrant any emotion from opposing fans. That said, I'm picking Steve Mason for having his only decent game of the season (and the rest of his career hahaha) against the Wings to get the Jackets their first win. What a dick.
Dallas: This one was almost as easy as Anaheim. Steve Ott, Steve Ott, Steve Ott, Steve Ott. Next!
Detroit: Well to keep things fair, here's the sole Wings rep Todd Bertuzzi! While the Steve Moore incident was long ago, other teams fans refuse to shut up about it which I suppose is enough to earn him this spot over fan favorite Jonathon "Shitbox" Ericsson.
Edmonton: Following in the footsteps of the Canes and Jackets, the Oilers are a terrible team filled with extremely talented young rookies it would be impossible to hate. But hey, Ben Eager is on the team!
Florida: Almost solely for Jeff, here's former Wing Mikael Samuelsson!
Los Angeles: The sole representative of the Kings is their captain who flopped all the way across the ice onto the ballet! Please welcome Dustin Brown!
Minnesota: Thankfully the Wild spent the offseason trading for Sharks players, giving us someone Wings fans can easily hate. The choice between Dany Heatly and Diving Shitoguccimane was an easy one to make.
Montreal: Whilst not doing anything against the Wings yet, PK Subban is enough of a shit for everyone outside of Montreal to hate his guts.
Nashville: Not only is he a giant asshat, but his stupid fucking last name gives the hick fans raisin to bring those fucking train whistles to games. Fuck you and your stupid fucking name Jordin Tootoo.
New Jersey: Another tough choice. You can't really hate Fatty because he took down Patrick Roy's records which earns him an eternal free pass from Wings fans. So I guess David Clarkson gets the nomination.
New York Islanders: Had he not signed with the Wings last year (which lasted long), Evgeni Nabokov's career with the Sharks probably would've earned him this spot. Fuck it, hello Steve Staios.
New York Rangers: If Sean Avery wasn't being pulled up and down the NHL and AHL like a yo-yo this would be an easy choice. So I'm going to go the controversial route and pick Ruslan Fedetenko because he has a stupid babby face that makes me want to punch him.
Ottawa: I guess Chris Neal is the biggest dirtbag out of a team filled with them so that's who I'll go with.
Philadelphia: The easiest choice of them all, by far. Chris Pronger. No matter what team he played for, it would always be Chris Pronger as the #1 pick. Fuck Chris Pronger.
Phoenix: Shane Doan gets the vote for his dangerous (oftentimes illegal) hits against the Wings. Hitting someone without the puck from behind on an icing? Fuck you Doan.
Pittsburgh: Another clusterfuck of players. Sidney Christ for his diving and whining, plus the fact that even when he's injured the league will not shut the fuck up about him, Evgeni Malkin for dirtbagging it up against Z back in the 09 finals (and his stupid caveman face), and of course the "reformed" Matt Cooke who prematurely ended Marc Savard's career then still required a whole nother season of suspensions before realizing he should change his game.
San Jose: Any respect one would have for Joe Thorton or the Sharks is long gone after their performances in the last two postseason meetings between our teams. Thorton gets on this list solely for his epic dive (which has been made into countless gifs), but let's not forget professional dumbshit Ryane Clowe who decided to talk shit about Kronner's hitting leading to him getting destroyed in return (who could've seen that coming?). And the endless snow showers on Howard. Grow the fuck up assholes.
St. Louis: David Backes is the giant doosh captain of a team of giant dooshes, so that means he'll represent the Blues. Barret Jackman doesn't want to feel left out so he whines about elbows and cross-checks his way past his teammates onto the ballet.
Tampa Bay: Really, the only choice here is Steve Downie.
Toronto: Dion Phaneuf has a stupid name and is a jackass so there.
Vancouver: Nudeler is from Michigan, and doesn't bite people, so Alexander Burrows gets the nod instead.
Washington: I decided to go with Roman Hammerlick just because his name is stupid. Hammerlick? Really?
Winnipeg: Couldn't be anyone other than Drunken Boating Fatty now could it?
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So there you have it, a representative(s) from every team. Now to lay down a few ground rules:
1. For someone not on the list, write his name down in comments and I'll add them to the poll.
2. Please only vote once. The last thing I want is someone and his sockpuppets voting for Sidney Chirst a million billion times.
3. I'll make this easy: Brian Elliot sucked, sucks, & will always suck. There, I've now laid the groundwork for people to derail the shit out of this thread. Bring it trolls.
Update!: I figure it'd be a good way for candidates to get more votes by posting new videos of them being dirtbags (all videos will be in games that happened after this post was made). With that in mind, here's no-votes Subban slew-footing fan favorite Khris Cunitz:
So with both Cronger and Prosby out for the season, this is a great opportunity for players (cough Thorton cough) to get the deciding votes they need!
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Comments
Pronger has been Public Enemy #1 for nearly fifteen years. I think he takes the cake, if only for his attempted knee-on-knee with Yzerman
by Apocalyptic0n3 on Jan 18, 2012 10:15 PM CST reply actions
He's was/is my pick to win it all
Dark horses being Perry & Thorton
The sun is blotted out as Joe Don Baker approaches.
I hate him so much.
I almost rooted for Philly last year against Boston, cause hey Boston is a bunch of dicks, but then realized Pronger was on Philly….
Only player in the league I won’t put on my fantasy team. Has been that way since Keith Tkachuk retired.
I'm a Homer
Brian Elliot's not on this list?
Poor form.
Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are even stupider! --George Carlin
Honestly I put him on the poll then accidentally forgot to put him back on
And it’s physically impossible to put him in between his teammates if I add him again. Believe you me, I tried
The sun is blotted out as Joe Don Baker approaches.
*Accidentally forgot to put him back on when I fucked up and clicked outside the poll box and had to redo it
The sun is blotted out as Joe Don Baker approaches.
1st day totals
1. Chris Pronger with 3
2. Corey Perry with 2
3. Joe Thorton
Patrick Kane
Barret Jackman all with 1
The sun is blotted out as Joe Don Baker approaches.
Updated
1st: Pronger and Perry with 4
2nd: Crosby and Thorton with 2
3rd. Kane & Jackman with 1
Surprising players who have yet to receive any votes: Steve Ott, Matt Cooke, Shane Doan.
I’m thinking about narrowing the field down at the end of this poll to like the 8 top players, then continuing to shave the number down by half until we get to the certainly inevitable Perry vs Pronger finals. What do y’all think?
The sun is blotted out as Joe Don Baker approaches.
I like it
Wouldn’t mind voting again.
by J.J. from Kansas on Jan 19, 2012 7:37 AM CST up reply actions
It was a tough call
but I’m happy with my choice
by J.J. from Kansas on Jan 19, 2012 8:10 AM CST up reply actions
Whomever also voted for He Who Shall Not Be Named
Gets a gold star and wins the blog.
Good work.
Brendan Smith fan
I just do.
He sucks.
Brendan Smith fan
by JeffHancock41 on Jan 19, 2012 9:32 AM CST up reply actions
trade Brendan Smith for Mikael Samuelsson!
You wanna tell me that to mah face?!
YET ANOTHER Detroit Red Wings blog.
by uvgt2bkdnme on Jan 19, 2012 10:54 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Ahhhh....Corey Perry
Does anyone else want to scrape those four measly whiskers off of his face with a rusty snow shovel?
by Shelmach on Jan 19, 2012 9:22 AM CST reply actions 1 recs
Joe thorton for the obvious reasons
this was hilarious, and by far the hardest choice I have had to make this week.
damn now I want
a redo, Where is “All the Above at”?
by bond021 on Jan 19, 2012 9:25 AM CST reply actions 4 recs
That would be the easy way out
And we want to specify which asshat is most worthy of our collective hatred
You sound like a manure salesman with a mouthful of samples.
I was the first to pick Marchand?
I’ve wanted to punch that guy ever since he tried to fight Patrick Eaves for no reason while the Bruins were down by like 6 goals in a meaningless game last year.
Don't forget
Tomas Kopecky
The Flyers – all of them – and Hell Yes – Fuck Chris Pronger (Steve Yzerman called – how’s your knee, shitbag?)
Mike Ribiero – looks like a bleeping criminal mugshot every time I see his picture
Cal Clutterbuck – big hitter – sometimes on the edge of dirty
Logan Couture – but he’s a Shark and there’s Diverbag Joe
Clutterbuck seconded
Every time we play the Wild I spend a large part of it yelling at the TV “you had better not injure anyone you dirty son of a bitch! And your name is stupid!”.
Relentlessly preaching the word of TPH and converting the heathens in the NHL wasteland that is Oregon.
New Poll
We need one for a player on each of the other teams that we secretly or openly covet – I’ll bet there would be some duplication of these same names. Except for Corey Perry and Chris Pronger of course…
I don't know
I still hate Milan Hejduk and Adam Foote would have been at the top of my list if he didn’t retire last year (jerk!). But I went with Pronger….ooooh!
Manager of the Mursak League's Banzai Bananas. BANZAI!!!
1. Thorton with 17 votes
2. Pronger with 15
3. Sidney Christ with 8
4. Corey Perry with 7
5. Patrick Kane
& Steve Ott with 3
7. Barrett Jackman
& Mikael Samuelsson with 2
9. Alex Burrows, David Backes, Evgeni Malkin, Matt Cooke, Dan Carcillo, Brad Marchand and Todd Bertuzzi (lol) with one
Surprising fact: Marian Hossa, Devin Setoguchi, Ryan Clowe & Shane Doan all have yet to receive votes. (I guess for Gucci & Clowe their retard antics were overshadowed by Thorton’s the past couple years.)
You sound like a manure salesman with a mouthful of samples.
Patrick Kane EASILY gets my vote
No one I hate more than Kaner. Maybe that’s because I live in Chicago and have a bunch of Hawk fan friends.. whatever it is, I can’t stand the little punk…
… on another note, I’m really enjoying seeing Datsyuk make pass after pass that absolutely SILENCES all the Hawks fans saying “Kane is the best passer in the NHL, wah wah wah…”
Datsyuk trumps Kane anyday.
’nuff of that.
by kylegroombridge on Jan 19, 2012 4:03 PM CST reply actions 2 recs
I understand
all the Pronger hate but my answers are 1) Burrows 2) Burrows 3) Ott 4)Subban 5)Duncan Keith.
Clearly Thornton!
But only because I can’t vote for Claude Lemieux. They should retire this category in his honor.
That's exactly why I made it current players only
Because otherwise it’d be Lemiuex by a mile with Farceberg & Roy fighting for 2nd
You sound like a manure salesman with a mouthful of samples.
I couldn't hate Forsberg
HATED playing against him – played right on that edge of dirty too. He was a beast.
Dude had some skills too. When I watch Pav let go of the puck and lean his shoulder into some guy trying to check him and then play the puck again, makes me think of Forsberg – every time.
Lemieux – now that’s another story altogether.
If you couldn't hate Forsberg
You weren’t trying hard enough. Seriously.
Most of the guys on this list had some amount of skill; some of them have quite a bit. That doesn’t forgive their douchbaggery. Neither should it forgive Forsberg’s.
by Big Z in Orlando on Jan 20, 2012 11:52 AM CST up reply actions
Yeah
For me, Sakic was always the one I couldn’t hate. Forsberg wasn’t so difficult.
by J.J. from Kansas on Jan 20, 2012 12:10 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
I bought NHL 2KG for the original Xbox long ago
And the awesome thing was the real NHL player created teams. DMac had one. I remember looking at his lineup, seeing Foursberg, and going “wtf” I kinda wanna go back and try to play it failing miserably due to having become accustomed to the NHL08-12’s analog control scheme
You sound like a manure salesman with a mouthful of samples.
I watched the 3/25/97 game the other day
I had forgotten that Larionov and Forsberg were the ones who got all the fights started. Iggy finally got sick of Forsberg hacking and whacking at him – so he punched him and took him down. D-Mac was pumped when Iggy finally got to the Box giving him props for finally going after Forsberg.
I couldn’t hate Sakic either. For me, it was probably Foote and then Wah after Lemieux, Forsberg was after that – but I will admit that between him, plus Deadmarsh and Drury – all three of them always scored big goals against us.
Other item that is pretty funny from that day – Mickey was heading from the booth to the locker room for the between periods interview segment – so he missed seeing the whole McCarty/Lemieux, Vernon/Roy, Iggy/Forsberg thing live. He had to watch it all on tape. How McCarty didn’t get tossed that day still amazes me – he broke loose of the linesman’s grip on him and went straight after the Turtle.
BTW – Captain Obvious here – watching that game is still awesome, even today.
Derp
1. Joe “Beltway Sniper” Thorton with 19
2. Christine Pron?Grrrrrrrr with 16
3. Frisbee Crabsby with 13
4. Corey Fairy with 8
5. Can you Spare Some Change with 4
6. Barrett Jerkman, Ulf Samuelsson, Steve Otto Von Bismark, & Brad Marchand’s Humangous Big Nose with 3
10. Nibbles the Rabbit & The Self-Mutilator with 2
12. David Asskiss, Evgeni Milkman, Matt Cooke 2.0, Spin-O-Ramai & Maryann Hoseahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh with 1
Surprised to see Thorton jump out to a lead he hasn’t relinquished since this morning, while Corey Perry still has yet to hit double digits. Also amazed Bill Cosby is going strong in 3rd considering he’s been a zombie for over a year now. (Not even death can make people hate him less it seems.)
You sound like a manure salesman with a mouthful of samples.
Waffles wants you to vote for him

The greatest picture ever, Waffles in his youth
Waffles is too busy thinking about his favorite food to ever play up to his potential.
Vote Waffles 2012!
You sound like a manure salesman with a mouthful of samples.
I've hated Pronger since the 90's
And he’s still my most hated player.
Thornton and Dany “Killed my best friend” Heatley come close.
Pronger
And it’s not even close. I will hate Pronger long after he retires. If I suffer severe brain trauma and emerge 20 years later from a coma, I will be reduced to only being able to say “Chris Pronger”. He is the focus of my hate, and the object that has driven a hole into my being.
Pronger is a stupid fuck...
He is my el numero uno most hated player in the NHL.
I think I'll shut this poll down and advance the top 8 to the next round on Wednesday
Right now advancing would be:
Joe Thorton (clinch)
Chris Pronger (clinch)
Sidney Crosby (clinch)
Corey Perry
Patrick Kane
Steve Ott
Brad Marchand
Evgeni Malkin
Marchand & Milkan are barely advancing right now with 4 votes, plenty of time left for them to lose their spot.
You sound like a manure salesman with a mouthful of samples.
Well it won't let me close the poll for whatever reason, so if one of the mods wants to do it for me I'd be grateful
Also, hahaha Bertuzzi got 2 votes. That’s hilarious.
You sound like a manure salesman with a mouthful of samples.
Poll closed
love the Bert-voting. Wondering if that has anything to do with the outside visitors around here lately?
by J.J. from Kansas on Jan 25, 2012 7:23 AM CST up reply actions

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