I'm working on something a bit more robust for later on, but for now, I bring you Tyler Atwood from Bluenote Zone and his "Throwdown Lowdown"
Here's the full text of the paragraph:
I really don’t know why I even bother to waste energy on this report for tonight’s opponent, the Detroit Red Wings. Nothing ever changes with these guys . . . they don’t fight, even when they really should, and while you can sugarcoat it with as hard a candy shell as you can find, it reeks of a team that chooses not only to not be physical, but not to stand up for themselves either. This may explain why the Wings tend to have dropped out of the playoffs in embarrassing fashion the last few years, but that’s neither here nor there. Despite seemingly not needing to cover this team, we HAVE covered this team a few times in the past (November 15th, December 6th, December 27th and December 31st). The Wings remain in dead last in the NHL with six fighting majors collected on the season. Their fight record is a bit less than robust, obviously, at 2-4-0.
There's something hilarious about watching a fan of a team that hasn't won a playoff GAME let alone a series since the lockout talk about how to actually succeed at that. Maybe Tyler can give us some pointers on how to solve the energy crisis or finally share the secrets of alchemy?