FanPost

In this post I try and predict how the rest of the regular season plays out for the Wings

So Imma look at the games remaining for the Wings and attempt to predict the outcomes and which place the Wings will end the season in (hint: it's not fifth)

So March so far has been a complete fucking disaster. We're 2-6-2 and in the middle of a 6 game losing streak. Were it not for that epic collapse by the Kings a couple weeks ago it could be worse (which doesn't really seem possible does it?) We have 4 games left this month meaning we can possibly raise our record to .500 for the month if we win the remaining games. Those games are:

At home against Carolina

The Hurricanes are basically the Eastern Conference version of the Stars. They missed out of the playoffs last year by losing the final game of their season and have used that as momentum this year to take control of their terrible division (in which the only juggernaut team (Washington instead of San Jose) has drastically underperformed to the point you have to wonder if they mistakenly think that it's playoff time.) Haha, yeah no I'm fucking with you. Carolina has been fucking terrible this year. They currently have a record of 30-29-15 (they lead the league in OT losses so that's something to be proud of right?) and are 4th in the Southeast ahead of the 32-33-7 TB Lightning (our 7th round pick noooooooooooo). The two best players on the Canes have both struggled mightily throughout the first half+ of the season. Captain "brother-killer" Eric Staal was a negative 59 billion at one point (now -13) and Cam Ward decided to reward me for drafting him in fantasy by posting the worst numbers of his career (his SV% might be 10 points higher than it was in 2008 but he's currently 27-21 compared to 37-25 so there). Oh, and Hockey Beiber missed a lot of the season with a concussion so that probably didn't help. They're currently in the midst of a 4 game win streak which they'll put on the line against Columbus tomorrow before coming here on Caturday.

My prediction: Well assuming they win tomorrow (which they will), it'll be a 5 game win streak vs a 6 game losing streak. HAHA DISREGARD THAT CAM WARD SUCKS If not for that I would've predicted a 10-0 Wings victory, but obviously that's a bit too optimistic. So I'm guessing (drumroll pleeze) Wings win in OT 4-3.

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At home against (snicker) Columbus

Whereas I ordinarily would've written this game off as an easy victory seeing as how the Jackets are a running joke, their recent discovery that they don't have to allow 4 goals every game Steve Mason plays Steve Mason was wearing midget pads has turned them into a force to be reckoned with.

My prediction: It's the fucking Blue Jackets. Wings win 5-3

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On the road against Columbus

Same shit different rink.

My prediction: 4-2 Wings

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At home against Nashville

Unfortunately all good things must come to an end. And our 3 game win streak is one of those things. Alexander Radulov is a million, billion, trillion times better than any other player in the league (except Sidney Christ of course) which is why every single goddamn hockey related website spent the week plus obsessing over him. His triumphant return from injury prison Soviet Russia means people can't call the Preds "a boring trap hockey team" anymore due to his unstoppable offensive prowess.

My prediction: 4-3 Radulovs

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So that's March. Here's April Ludgate:

At home against Florida

Florida is the Island of Misfit Toys. They're a team built around signing and trading for crappy overrated players that noone else wants for multiple times their actual worth. I mean seriously, look at this fucking lineup: Brian Campbell, Tomas Kopecky, Mikelol Samlolson, Ed Jovanoski, Wojtek Wojlski, Scottie Upshall, Marco Sturm, John Madden and Jose Theodore. Yet somehow due to evil witch magic and the Southeast's pure, unequaled shittiness (fun fact: EVERY team in the Southeast has a negative Goals For/Against differential. The best being Washington's -10) so despite their record (36-24-13), they're still a joke team. And Jose Theodore sucks only slightly less than Brian Elliott does. (Bring it on motherfuckers!)

My prediction: Wings win 6-2.

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Final road game against St. Louis

The Blues are boring and they won't make it out of the 2nd round of the playoffs. Deal with it

My prediction: Wings win 3-2 in OT

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Vs New Jersey:

Last year, after signing him to an infinity dollar contract, than getting caught and having to sign him for much less, the Devils and their brand new (well brand new "under a 20 year contract") Ilya Kovalsuck finished 12 points outside of a playoff spot (in the Eastern Conference) which was probably due to Kovy and Fatty underperforming and losing Parise for 3 months. This year the Devils are once again 4th in the Atlantic, but that's due to every other team being slightly better instead of them being terrible again. Their biggest (hahahahahahaha) weakness is in net, with Fatty having another less-than-stellar season (26-20-3, 2.45, .910) However, this is THE trap hockey team, and they're 4th in the league in shots against (1997, 4 behind the 3rd place Wings) so unless Fatty is having an off night you can expect this game to be somewhat incredibly boring. Oh and they lead the league in shorties against somehow with 13.

My prediction: Devils win 2-1 in OT

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Vs Chicago

As always our final game of the season is against the fucking Hawks who probably won't have Captain Srs back yet. However this team is still an offensive juggernaut with

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and

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My prediction: 3-2 Hawks

So I'm predicting the Wings go 5-2-1 over the last 8 games giving them 104 (the same as last season) and the 4th seed and home ice advantage against the Preds in the first round. With that said, here's a poll so you can guess too!

This is a fanpost written by a WIIM community member. The views and opinions expressed here are that member's and do not necessarily reflect the views of the site itself.

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