So there are two great things about writing a Eulogy for Puck Daddy: The good feeling of the supportive comments from people who've laughed with you through it and the hilarious feeling of reading the comments from the people who hated it.
I'll start by thanking you all for the first of those experience. Just because the Eulogy is done doesn't mean we're done laughing together. Let's share in some of the hate.
We'll start off with Twitter, where some real winners jumped on the hate.
For the record, I wholeheartedly endorse reading Down Goes Brown.
@wyshynski You Suck! You're a terrible writer and a worse person! The preds are the best in the NHL....and next year we'll win it all!!— Reese Gwin (@Gwiner25) May 9, 2012
Picking among the three horribly stupid things from this user was tough, but I think I picked the one that best captured it.
One of the few Preds fans who still cops to following me just so he can keep an eye out, this is pretty much the same thing that he posted at Yahoo before it got thumbs-downed into oblivion by people who deserve to at least read original hate. I expected much better of you, Dave. Cool 311 tattoo though, joke.
After the jump, we'll head right to the Yahoo! comments and then later grab some SB Nation love.So Yahoo! comments are generally the worst place in the world, but I was actually a little surprised at how much positive reaction there was. Positive reaction is great for my ego, but it's lousy to make fun of, so let's get to the good stuff.
No idea who this guy is because he's using a different name on Yahoo just like all cool people do. Corn is Iowa, dude. You're thinking wheat.
Apparently, I wasn't horrifying enough for these people. I must have completely forgotten to make fun of coach Trotz's son or make a joke about Tootoo's brother. I mean, not even acrack? I've gone soft and these people are quite frankly SHOCKED that I didn't lower myself to SLGT's standards by cracking about shit that's just not funny. I really crashed and burned on this one.
I'm not exactly privvy to the workings of a mind of somebody who no doubt owns at least a dozen cats and has a house that reeks of piss, but in my experience, those who have at least an elementary school education tend to find things like retention and writing MUCH easier than those who don't. I should probably give her credit for being able to find Yahoo without having moved past kindergarten.
I think I may have found the right man for CatWoman up there. Can I get a show of hands of people who honestly don't understand this joke? I was expecting the Scopes reference and 5/5ths things to go over people's heads, but this one? Yikes.
I appreciate you braving signing into Yahoo! and going through all the trouble to do something you hated so much, Bryanj. You're a credit to your species.
I'll admit that this one was REALLY hurtful right up until I realized that it came from Orange Tron. See, in the movie, Orange Tron was a dickhead; that was his whole job. Later in the film, he turns good and becomes Blue Tron then dies (SPOILER ALERT: Don't read the previous sentence if you haven't seen the last Tron movie). So while this one hurts now, I know he'll come around eventually, then die.
One last one from Yahoo!
Man, I don't even know...
Check out the cute Avs fan trying to be relevant.
This one is hilarious because this lady wanted Graham banned for just commenting over there. She didn't even read the eulogy (I know because she bothered to tell everybody), but she can't help but keep tabs on my Twitter feed so she can find things to get hysterical over. Great use of "vis a vis" though.
As a history professor, I'd expect this person, who wants to be picky about a joke in a eulogy, to know that slavery has never been legal in the state of Kansas (you know, where the author of that eulogy is from?). Talk about the Kansas territory all you want, pedants, but Kansas joined the union as a free state in 1861, three years before the randomly-used year of 1864 (slavery wasn't officially abolished nationwide until December of 1865).
Maybe all the jokes about how uncultured and dumb Preds fans are weren't offensive enough because there's a limit to how much the truth can hurt?