Perhaps you may have heard this, but the NHL lockout has ended and the Red Wings are getting ready to play hockey again. This likely excites you as it does me. Seriously, you should see my nipples right now. So hard. Like diamond-cutter hard right now.
But I digress, now is not the time for a turgid discussion of nipples. Now is the time to get ready for my favorite hockey season pastime, game threads!
If you're new here or simply haven't taken part in a game thread for so long that you've forgotten how they work, here's a bit of a primer. A game thread is a post that we set up as kind of like a pretend bar where you sit in front of the TV and chat about what's going on with your friends. The difference is that nobody kicks you out if you take off your pants to celebrate and that you get to use pictures and .gifs to say what you want to say.
Now, I did say "bar" and not "wild west saloon", so there are a few rules. They're pretty easy to follow. For one, they're the set of rules you've already agreed to, our community standards.
I'll summarize a bit:
On language: Salty is ok; dirty is ok; filthy is pushing it; hate-speech is an instant no-no. I'm not going to try and list out everything that is and isn't allowed. If you have to be warned about your language, it will be done so respectfully.
On pictures/.gifs: If they're going to be R-Rated, it should only be for language and, even then, the language needs to fit the above guidelines. Also, please try not to induce seizures. Most importantly **PICTURES AND .GIF COMMENTS MUST HAVE TITLES** This is non-negotiable. The reason for this is that a person can click on the title of a comment to collapse it. Your .gif may be hilarious to you, but giving somebody the option of collapsing the comment so they don't have to see it any more is much better than having to moderate that much more. A picture or .gif without a title will be deleted.
On objectivity: No. We don't have to be objective in non-game threads. Why the hell would we expect that during game discussions?
On respect/trolling: Not everybody who comes into our game threads rooting against the Wings is a troll. Some of them are. Being a troll isn't about which team you're rooting for; it's about what you're doing to the thread. That said, remember what we said earlier about the bar atmosphere. It's a local bar and if you're not rooting for the Wings, you're a guest. The mods aren't the cops, they're the bartenders. We like when people come to visit and think that some good banter can be really fun, but it's all going to depend on the mood of the bar and if you piss off the regulars, you're probably going to be asked to leave.
On illegal streams of games: Please don't post links to streams or even knowledge of sites where one may be able to obtain an illegal stream. We will have to delete those. If there's any question that a paid or unpaid source to watch live events is illegal, treat it like it is (because we will). The basic tenet is that you're opening yourself up to potential criminal or civil liability by doing it and we're not willing to give you a place to do that. This is not a statement on what is fair or what should be allowed. It's a statement on what is and isn't allowed and posting streams or knowledge of streams is not allowed.
As a special lockout-ending addendum to the last point, I'm going to personally say that I'd love nothing more than to support stealing hockey from the bastards who stole it from us first. Unfortunately "they started it!" doesn't hold up as much of a defense in court and none of us particularly want to end up there.
Use the comments below to share any good new .gifs you've found for the season. Just remember to use a title.