The Curse of Hudler: Calgary Flames 4 - Detroit Red Wings 1

Andrew Weber-USA TODAY Sports

Hudler-less Red Wings look awful and stupid against the more fun and Hudlerful Flames

I did not enjoy that. Not only do the Flames have Jiri Hudler while we have Mikael Samuelsson AND Mikeal Samuelsson (it needed repeating), but we also had to witness a turd of a hockey game that saw the Red Wings behind for most of the duration -- at home to the team with the worst record in the league.

So yeah, bullets:

  • During the pregame show, there was a segment where John Keating asked Red Wings players if they’ve ever experienced a power outage like the one seen at the Super Bowl on Sunday. Drew Miller told a tale from his days in juniors when he and his teammates fired pucks in the dark at the other team during warm-ups. Although, it should be noted that this was a regular occurrence for Miller since he played before the invention of electricity.
  • "The return of Jiri Hudler" was the obvious storyline coming into this game. Earlier today I read where some Flames fans were talking about him and they said "Huds", and it created a very weird feeling inside me. It's so strange when a player moves on to another team and you see their fans say a nickname you've been calling someone for years. Like the first time you're hanging out with your ex-girlfriend at a party and some dude you don't know calls her "sugar tits".
  • This is the first that I had seen that gigantic neck scar that Jiri acquired while playing in the Czech league a few months ago. Just so you know, the story about a skate blade cutting him was a cover-up and that scar is actually a hickey from a snake-wielding prostitute. Human/snake/human sex = very common in Czech Republic.
  • In this modern age of hockey fandom, we spend a lot of time talking about where fighting fits into today’s game. I’m curious: what do you guys think of Jordin Tootoo and Steve Begin finishing their fight by smiling and giving each other a friendly tap on the shoulder? Personally I think it means that they have a very confusing and violent friendship kinda like my mommy and daddy.
  • The 1st period was awful, but didn’t feel too surprising to me. Jarome Iginla didn’t yet have a goal this season coming into the game, so it’s only natural that he scored. The Wings took penalties, so it was only natural that they were going to give up goals immediately while providing no resistance. I'm a pessimist, so it's only natural that I'm unfazed by the worst team in the league putting goals up against a well-rested Wings team at home.
  • A short recap of John Keating’s 1st intermission interview with Dan Cleary:

John Keating: "Dan, what’s your assessment of how that 1st period went?"

Dan Cleary: "Well we’re taking too many penalties, and th- hey what are you doing"

Keating: /readying needle to euthanize Dan Cleary/ "Nothing."

Cleary: "What in the hell? Are you serious with this?"

Keating: "Dan, you’ve had a great run. Turned yourself into a workhorse and more than salvaged what was once a lost career. Very commendable." /squints to look at measurements on syringe/

Cleary: "???????????????"

Keating: "You were well-liked, Danny. You’re a very loyal and obedient friend."

Cleary: "Are you aware that I am not a dog"

Keating: "It’s time. We want to do this while you still have some dignity. Before long you’ll be peeing in the house and biting Grandma."

Cleary: "I’m going to the locker room now."

Keating: /rubs Cleary’s belly/ "I love you. Good boy."

Police man: "HEY what’s going on in here?" /Keating runs away giggling/

  • Iginla's penalty shot. At the time, this felt like a big deal. Wings had scored a goal to cut the lead in half, ice had tilted in their favor, and then the Flames had a chance to erase all of that. Jimmy Howard stood tall though and kept it a one goal game, which seemed pivotal.
  • Until Dennis Wideman's goal with 23 seconds to go in the 2nd period, which felt like a real back-breaker. Remember going into last summer when that guy was our 2nd or 3rd option after Ryan Suter? No no wait put the matches down-
  • Larry Murphy's glasses are weird! Has anyone noticed this
  • Leland Irving (?) came out in goal for the Flames at the start of the 3rd period after Miikka Kiprusoff suffered an apparent injury. His first big test came on a breakaway from Jordin Tootodfdjafkodf oh fuck this sentence.

Well, the bad news is that, after a big victory against the Blues, the Wings have gone south quickly by dropping games to the lowly Blue Jackets and now the last place Flames. The good news, however,

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