This is my first recap in the Post-Murphy Era (this era sucks btw), so I want to honor him by bringing back a dumb little segment I did at my old website "the three dekes" or whatever the name was: Murph Speak. The segment was nothing more than writing Murph's words down verbatim and emphasizing words that he emphasized. Since we're missing the man himself, I'm going to have to take an educated guess as to what Larry Murphy would have said before this game.
"the RED wings, are comingintothis game on a ROLL of sorts ..... having .. BEATEN the anaheim MightyDucks of anaheim 7 to 2 this PAST, weekend. JIMNY HOWWARD was a large man. in goal for DETTROYT. Saving over 500 shots FRIDAY and sunday combined. but TONITE IN THE --- (farts) -- in the goal for the Wings is Jonas GusSTAAHFsin. .......... and. with that, a chance for the goalie nicknamed "THE LOBSTER" to re deem himself after a not-so-hot outing ................ agaiynst the FLAMES (laughs at his own pun). I once ate 17 hotdogs at a wedding I wasn't invited to, back to you Tyler."
Thank you, Murph. God speed.
- After picking off a pass at the blue line, Gustav Nyquist raced down the ice with a near-breakaway, but he was at the end of a shift and couldn't out-skate the last defender. He was forced into a failed spin-o-rama and the scoring chance was lost. "I'll show ya how it's done!" Said Todd Bertuzzi from his heated Tempur-Pedic hammock before tumbling to the floor and breaking his neck in an incredible bit of irony.
- Damien Brunner is healthy scratched for the first time in his NHL career after going a month without a goal and then scores 4 minutes into the game MIKE BABCOCK IS A GOLDEN GOD
- (They changed the goal to Ian White but I just enjoy yelling that about Babcock.)
- Hard to wrap my mind around what Jonas Gustavsson was doing when the Coyotes scored their second goal. But the confusion is half the fun! Gang, bring the whole family down to Six Flags this summer and ride the all new Jona-Coaster and puke on the seagulls you pass as you soar across the magnificent starlit night sky. /does the worm off a cliff/
- Already down 2-1 in the 1st, the Red Wings nearly gave up another when the Coyotes had an odd man rush. Usually you'll see the defenseman in this situation take away the passing option and give the goalie the shooter, but with Gustavsson in net, Kronwall did the safe thing and just stabbed both Coyotes to break up the scoring chance.
- Winging It In Motown Fast Fact Presented By Amway: that Coyote sound effect you hear at Jobing.com Arena is actually a clip of Shane Doan howling while taking a dump on top of a moving school bus full of crying children.
- There is no way that Rob Klinkhammer is the name of an actual person. That is the name of a Will Ferrell character. He is not real. Erase him from your memory.
- I guess I should credit that goalie guy for the 2nd period, though. The Wings for the most part looked like ass, but they still doubled up Phoenix in shots so good job Jason LaBarbera!
- (The old switch-a-roo! I got ya)
- But the start of the 3rd period looked completely different. Wings came out with a bunch of energy, produced a few scoring chances, Gustavsson even made a couple of (YUP, HERE IT COMES) Monster saves. Pretty sure Babcock bit the head off a bird or something during the intermission.
- I had a good laugh when the Phoenix fans attempted to get their team back into the game with a "let's-go-Coy-otes" chant with the enthusiasm of a Bennigan's wait staff singing Happy Birthday. Have a "Megaphone Night" or something for fuck's sake.
- The game was on the line late in the 3rd when Gustavsson saved a penalty shot that would have tied it. Gustav Nyquist -- the man who took the penalty -- has been missing since 12:21AM eastern time. Mike Babcock refused to comment.
- Yes, indeed, my little recap losing streak is over. Thanks for sticking with me and not scratching me you guys. Go Red Wings.