Hey we've got a game tonight! Even better, it's against a California team so I get to do two of these. You all should be very aware of Battle of California by now, but if you're not then you need to fix that. Last time I visited there, I called them a bar full of Tyler Durdens pissing into a lake of piss. If that description doesn't make you want to visit there, then we need to sit down and have a chat about your priorities.
At any rate, we've got Megalodon here today because he's their Sharks writer and also because he carries a purse and goes by Meg. Despite all of this, he is most certainly a he. Hell, even if he weren't a he, that wouldn't be a problem. Women are awesome.
1. With the trade deadline approaching, are the Sharks buyers or sellers? What are they buying/selling?
The Sharks would love to be buyers, as they DESPERATELY need more secondary scoring, but they're at the point where they just can't keep trading away draft picks without shooting themselves in the foot. They're eager to sell one slightly-used Ryane Clowe though, if anyone out there is interested in a fixer-upper!
2. San Jose finds themselves in an awful place offensively. What's going on with that?
Bad luck combined with a thin roster up front will do that. We all knew going into the season that the biggest question for the Sharks would be who was going to score aside from the top five forwards, and the answer to that question has turned out to be "Nobody!"
That said, the team really ISN'T as anemic offensively as they have looked over the past couple of months. Ryane Clowe has taken more shots than any other player in the league without scoring a goal. He sucks, but he isn't THAT bad. The Sharks are one of the unluckiest teams in the league offensively.
3. If a guy gloves the puck over the glass in his own defensive zone off a faceoff, is that a double-minor? More importantly, where will the Sharks finish the season?
No that's actually the ultra-rare TRIPLE minor, which results in a six-minute penalty followed by that player's execution at center ice. The Sharks will finish 7th and will beat the Ducks in the first round of the playoffs.