Death, Taxes, The Wings Lose To The Sharks

Ed Szczepanski-USA TODAY Sports

Gather around kids, and let me tell you a story from when I was a boy. It's a little long, but I promise that it's a good one.

You know the Detroit Red Wings? Those guys in the red and white jerseys who play hockey? Well, you see, tonight they played against the San Jose Sharks, and boy if the Wings didn't lose to the Sharks. Again.

Now for you young kids, I know that this is a normal feeling for you. After all, the Sharks have beaten the Red Wings 86 straight times (don't look that up, I'm older than you so I'm right), and no matter how well the Wings play, it's never good enough to beat the Sharks. Maybe it's because the Sharks dive to draw penalties, maybe it's because the Wings make one too many mistakes, or maybe, just maybe, it's because the Sharks are better (my money's on the last one).

But it wasn't always that way. Nope. There used to be a time where the Wings would beat the Sharks on the regular. You see, the Sharks weren't always good (although with parity, "good" is a relative term these days), and the Red Wings used to be very very good, and as you'd expect, the Wings would beat up on the Sharks often.

Those were the days. Knowing that a trip to San Jose was an automatic 2 points and an easy win. Oh kids, I wish you could have been there. You got to stay up late and eat candy and watch the Wings run up the score on a terrible team with ugly jerseys.

But no more. Those days are long gone, and now we're stuck with the knowledge that if the Wings do beat the Sharks, it's pretty much a miracle. But hey, at least they only play there once a year now. I'm getting old, and I need to get to bed.

Fuck.

  • If you couldn't see that first goal happening after the way Thornton pulled up and had all day to pass, then you haven't watched a Wings-Sharks game from the last 4 years.
  • Strong response from the Red Wings after the first Sharks goal. I know after almost a week of sun and relaxation it takes me a little bit to get back into the swing of things my first day back at work.
  • Tomas Tatar scores another pretty goal in a game in which is starting linemates were Joakim Andersson and Mikael Samuelsson. When he gets actual offensive linemates, he's going to score 80 goals a year.
  • Ken Holland said that Samuelsson was in the lineup to replace Pavel Datsyuk and I immediately poured a shot of whiskey so I could immediately forget that sentence was ever uttered.
  • Joe Pavelski scored 2 goals and the Shark fans chanted "USA" and Jimmy Howard got very confused.
  • Borrowing from Peter King, but here's a thing I think I think: I'd rather have Dan Cleary on the top line with Datsyuk when he comes back and Gustav Nyquist than Todd Bertuzzi right now. Then that elbow and subsequent fight happened, and I don't think I think this anymore. But I think I think that Bertuzzi isn't the answer any more. Unless Vlasic's cheapshot to Bert's head knocked him back into effective mode, that is.
  • On Jimmy Howard: I love the guy and will stubbornly hold fast to my belief that he's the best option for the Red Wings in net both now and in the future. There's no question that he's struggled with consistency this year, but I will fight anyone shirtless who says that he should not be the starting goaltender. However, that second goal was a killer, because it should be a routine save in a game in which you played well in the first. If that's a great goal by the Sharks (like the second Pavelski goal was), then ok, whatever, you tip your cap to the other team. But man oh man, it becomes harder to defend him when he just keeps letting in that one goal more often than not that he shouldn't let in.
  • Whatever, the Wings suck, the West is good, blah blah blah, it's late I'm going to bed good night.
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