Game Recap - Red Wings get the Blues at home

Rick Osentoski-USA TODAY Sports

I'm blue dabba dee ba da -ah fuck this.

It's been a pretty strange few days in the world of sports, if you ask me.. What with NHL coaches trying to fight an entire opposing team in their own locker rooms, weird goals scored by safety netting, and football players acting like WWE wrestlers, I suppose this has been a fun way to close out the week. With that being said, I hope you're ready for some more fun and games because the boys in red have quite a doozie of a schedule ahead of them this week. Tonight the St. Louis Blues, one of the NHL's top powerhouse teams, strolled into Detroit for a good old-fashioned hockey game against our very own Detroit Red Wings.

The Blues came into tonight ranking #2 in the Central division with 69(insert joke about things here)points, behind Wednesday's opponent, the Chicago Blackhawks. They were coming off a 2 game losing streak from Anaheim and Los Angeles. The Red Wings, buzzing off their thrilling win* over the Kings on Saturday, are fighting to keep their head above water in this season wrecked by injuries of key players. St. Louis is the top team in goal differential in the NHL with a +59 rating. When I looked up Detroit's goal differential all it said was "day-to-day." (not really, but probably)

  • Darren Helm returned to the lineup tonight after being out with a groin injury for 8 games. I was shocked that it was only 8 games because it seemed like Darren Helm had been out since Clinton was in office. Welcome back, Darren. Take your shoes off, stay a while. No seriously. Don't get injured again. For the love of g
  • This bullet-point is to confirm that Canadian Olympian Jay Bouwmeester looks like DJ Qualls
  • The first goal of the game came from a wrap around from Magnus Pajaarvi. Howard got caught on an awkward slide, Pajaarvi wrapped around and the puck bounced off Howard's pads. For every one Red Wings favorable bounce, there is 6,000 favorable bounces for teams they are playing. It's a fact. Google it. Bing it. Yahoo it. Look in the Thesaurus.
  • St. Louis was forechecking hard. Sometimes bringing two guys in to close in the puck carrier. Something I've always wished we could do.
  • So hey, we should probably take guys like Todd Bertuzzi off of the power play. He is 100% ineffective and at times slows everything down. I understand why he's on it but, well actually no I really don't.
  • With 25 seconds left in the first period our lord and savior Gustav Nyquist got ahold of the puck on a dish from Riley Sheahan and Henrik Zetterberg.. He held the puck for much longer than he should have, and while he was the thought of "Halak is going to stone him" rang through my mind, but guess what? Gustav Nyquist is good. He netted the puck to tie the game 1-1.
  • David Backes plays in the NHL but I am pretty sure he doesn't know the basic rules of a hockey game.
  • After one period, Detroit was outshot 19-7. Riley Sheahan was one of the standout players in this period. He gets it. He just gets it. Yet another prospect who is ready to make his move to the NHL. Chalk another up for the kids, boys and girls.
  • Blues scored twice at the beginning of the 2nd.. Both from defensemen, Howard heavily screened. Mickey Redmond said it best.. "The Red Wings don't score goals like that and that's the problem."
  • Have the Red Wings ever scored a 5 on 3 power play goal
  • Halfway through the 2nd period, Howard came out of the game and Mrazek came in relief. The Red Wings had not scored a goal while Mrazek was in net since I was 11 years old. Anyways, just because Mickey and Ken were speculating what could have been wrong, a wave of diarrhea jokes erupted (zing) on Twitter dot com.
  • St. Louis owned Detroit in every zone in the second period. The Red Wings looked like a beaten team who was back on their heels. For the first time in my entire life of DRW fandom, I felt very little confidence in this team. 13 shots through 2 periods. I'll just leave it at that.
  • 3rd period kicks off with the Red Wings hitting the post about 25,000 times.
  • Jay Bouwmeester scored a goal off of Riley Sheahan's ass. So there is your 2013-2014 season summed up in 10 words.


    Look, we've been watching this team dominate the NHL for the past 15 years. 22 years straight of making the playoffs. Watching the team play this year with all of these injuries and mediocre play, it's quite disheartening. I honestly don't see a game for the rest of the week that the Red Wings will be able to control and win in dominate fashion. When you're missing top line players, top pair defensemen, and you are forced to giving your young guns and mediocre players the responsibility of picking up the slack, bad shit is going to happen. Life goes on. Get healthy and stay healthy or miss the playoffs for the first time in 22 years in your first year in a densely inferior conference. Chicago comes to town on Wednesday. Oh joy.

Fun Tweets of the Night! (i hate fun):


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