Now that the NHL Calendar has rolled over the 2014-15 year, there's just one more piece of wrap-up we have to touch on. Join me as we crown our champion foreseer in BOLD PREDICTIONS... me... again!
Lots of people love making predictions for the upcoming season and then only pointing out the things they got right so they can talk about how great and smart they are. We're no different here (this is why I got to write this post, after all). However, what sets us apart is that we're completely willing to live up to how batshit crazy some of our guesses were. Let's review.
Out of 36 total predictions, the WIIM crew put out seven correct ones. Seven. I'd ordinarily make fun of the entire crew for such a low rating, but instead I'll point out that fortune favors the bold and, by looking at some of these predictions, we're fucking rich.
Let's go over each participant.
I was going to try to pick out a best and worst prediction from all of the losers, but I'm stumbling right out of the gate with a few of these because there aren't any right. I'll do my best to put lipstick on a pig here. Christian certainly went bold. The thing about shooting for the moon is that you probably don't want to fire your shot in broad daylight.
Best Prediction: Darren Helm doesn't play a game for the Red Wings this season.
Between this one, Justin Abdelkader scoring 50, Howard winning the Vezina, or the Wings winning both the President's Trophy and the Cup, I had to choose the one that was missed by a mere 42 regular season games to get closest.
Worst Prediction: Neither Tomas Vanek nor Ryan Miller is traded during the season.
I have to marvel at how a prediction involving two people could be wrong three times, but this one was amazingly wrong. We didn't even get out of October before this one fell to the sword. Vanek got moved twice and Miller got to go be the scapegoat for the Blues' playoff failure this year. Whoops.
This big group of sucky predictions was based on some very high hopes for the Red Wings. In a way I don't want to gloat because Michelle's letdown is all of our letdown. On the other hand, hahahaha you suck and I won!
This didn't get any closer than Bert's 20 goals, Samuelsson's 40 points in 65 games, Lidstrom's return, or Mrazek's winning something named Calder, but I liked it the most because it still makes me laugh thinking about it.
The 38-point difference between these two isn't so bad when you correct Riggy's per-game pace to see that if he had played 79 games like Kronwall did, he would have scored... 7 more points and still would have ended up 31 points behind Kronner. Ouch.
The 1.5-time winner of this contest missed by Jeffian proportions this year (ironic since Jeff actually got one right). Just an off year for him.
Best Prediction: The Blackhawks win the Central by at least 30 points
As he's a resident of the greater Chicago area, I can appreciate this prediction for what it is: an olive branch to the surrounding nutsharts who don't remember when the Hawks would regularly fall out of the playoff race by mid-November.
He didn't finish last! Hell, there was a time when he had a decent chance of actually winning it. Overall Jeff had a much stronger showing than usual. Of course, that's like saying your child lasted five more seconds in the ring with Mike Tyson than last time. You still probably shouldn't let him in there, but you can't help yourself.
Best Prediction: Tyler Seguin scores 30 (or more) goals
37 goals for the former Bruins party-boy (read: the guy that the Boston diggers shat all over once he was traded in order to make the B's like them more). Good job on this one.
Worst Prediction: Mike Babcock wins the Jack Adams Award
Yeah, this was closer than the other predictions (especially the one about the Oilers making the playoffs), but Jeff should know better than to predict things that can't happen.
We didn't include Tyler in the original predictions so he went rogue and did a set himself, creating the best of those three posts. Funny jerk.
Best Prediction: Tomas Tatar will end the season with at least 35 points.
2nd-Best Prediction: I will regret at least 4 out of 5 of these terrible predictions.
Tyler got both of those right, as Tatar hit 39 points and the other four predictions Tyler made were just terrible. Like avocado terrible, I'm telling you.
Hahahaha, big-nosed asshole. Screw Damien Brunner too. (I'm kidding, Tyler doesn't have a big nose)
There you have it, jerks. Four out of six. Man I'm good. I know, the whiners will argue that my predictions weren't as bold as others' and that's well and good, but those people aren't the reigning WIIM BOLD PREDICTIONS Champion so their opinions mean less. Bask in the glory, kiddos.
Best Four Predictions:
- The Vancouver Canucks finish behind the Dallas Stars in the Western Conference.
- Darren Helm scores two shorthanded goals this season.
- One player receives a suspension of double-digit games (which isn't an automatic 10-gamer).
- The Nashville Predators miss the playoffs (again).
Oh man I am good. I know a lot of people predicted the Canucks would struggle, but finishing behind Dallas? Pure genius. Darren Helm's two shorties came at a time two other people were predicting he wouldn't play at all. The double-digit suspension one? Thanks Kaleta! Of course, I'm probably not going to get away with the Predators' prediction again, but it feels good to be right.
Worst Prediction: In honor of the sum of Red Wings retired numbers equaling his old number, Joakim Andersson scores the game-winning goal on March 6th
Good job changing your number and ruining Nick Night, Joker. Thanks a lot.
The Commenter Awards
As we do every year we present our BOLD PREDICTIONS, we as the commenters to put on their thinking caps and make their own predictions. I didn't go through and count, but I'm pretty sure they're worse than we are at predicting, so there.
Here are some of the absolute best:
The Wings mock their new division foes enforcers and has the fewest fighting majors in the NHL. - By wingingintherain
7 fights was the lowest. Carolina had 8. Toronto had 48.
At some point in the season the wings will play a "Swedish Five." - By Darthferrer
Not only that, but at one point they had a Swedish Six.
None of the four division winners make the Stanley Cup Finals - By Rockdan
Holy shit this was a good prediction. Seems simple enough, but that's kind of a tough call. Kudos, Dan. (Dan was also 2 games played by Darren Helm away from hitting a 2nd one).
Nyquist actually gets to stay and play and puts somewhere around 40 points (same for Tatar). - By JoseMiguel
We'll assume "gets to stay" doesn't mean "starts the season in Detroit", because it lets us appreciate Nyquist's 48 points in 57 games all the more. Tatar hit 39 points, which is close enough. (Jose missed a great Seguin prediction by saying that six of his 70 points would be against Boston. Only 2 of his 84 were)
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Good job, everybody who participated. Especially good job by me though. I rule.