Last night, Dallas Stars center, former NHL All-Star, flopping piece of crap, and all-around stain on the game of hockey Mike Ribeiro was arrested for public intoxication in Plano, Texas. Early reports of what happen read a bit like a Ron White stand-up joke about being drunk in a bar and then being cast into public, as the 30-year old child's 39-year old pet cougar wife and her similarly-aged friend got involved in an altercation with other unnamed (meant not-arrested) patrons before they were thrown on their plastic asses and brought to jail.
If you're wondering what kind of place Mike Ribeiro and his Big-Mouth Billy Bass trophy wife frequent, here is a helpful review of RA Sushi, the dining establishment that was home to the commotion:
If there was a Disneyland for Douche Bags, Ra Sushi would be it. There are more spandexish Affliction shirt wearing 45 year old menopausal Plano men with their dyed hair that horde this place than one can simply tolerate.
This place is so lame it makes polio seem like ice cream. Their sushi has all sorts of ridiculous names like crazy monkey rolls, syphilitic rabid siamese cat rolls, etc; but I'm afraid they just don't live up to the hype.
I see so many people write about how "amazing" RA is. The only thing amazing about Ra is how much it blows. As it relates to Ra, Bahhhh... move on. Not impressed.
Show me a man surprised that Mike Ribeiro is the kind of guy who would go to a restaurant described thusly and I'll show you the kind of guy who would buy a bulletproof vest in a bazooka storm.
There are currently no reports on whether Ribeiro's side of what happened involved being set upon by a gang of roving ninjas. We do know that the husband of the other woman arrested was also charged with assault after lunging at a police officer during his arrest. My guess is that as soon as the cops slapped the handcuffs on Mickey Ribs, he fell to the asphalt and started complaining of a broken wrist, bleeding ulcer, and post-traumatic stress disorder. He likely won't serve any time for this because, hey, what millionaire athlete's wife hasn't started a fight in a trendy nightclub that also happens to serve raw fish? (hint: lots of them). Also, because serving jail time for the misdemeanor offense of public intoxication is stupid. But, at least it gives me license to dream about Mike Ribeiro someday going to a place without Steve Ott and Brenden Morrow to protect him from the violent men who don't much care for the verbal stylings of a man who could be described as professional ice hockey's version of the chihuahua.