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So, Phoenix Coyotes 4 - 2 Detroit Groins


Rick Osentoski-USA TODAY Sports

It's hard being a sports fan.

Not just a hockey fan, but a sports fan. It would be so much easier if my fandom was limited to just hockey. Only worrying about one season? Gosh, that would be the best. Wish I could just make myself not care about the other teams and just have one primary focus.

Because if you're like me -- congratulations, you did it! -- your devotion is put to the test on nights like tonight. The constant channel flipping; the all-important pants status (on; off; eaten); the decision to write a recap for one team's game while another team's game is really important and shredding the last nerve that hasn't already been coughed up into your throat. This job is very difficult and hard to do, but it's also tough. Difficult, as well. But I'm a professional so I'm going to do this recap despite my heart being tugged in another direction tonight.

I'm alluding to, of course, the Detroit Pistons taking on the Miami Heat in their second preseason game. Let's move on.

  • Three minutes into the game, Derek Morris scored his first goal in 19 months. It was assisted by Adrian Aucoin, probably.
  • This would have stung a lot less had Henrik Zetterberg capitalized on a great breakaway opportunity moments earlier, but alas: "Zetterberg" and "breakaway" in the same sentence.
  • Could you believe that hooking penalty Franzen was called for in the 1st period? Man. That's all I really have to say about that. It definitely deserved a bullet though. So here it is.
  • does anyone else think Alfredsson looks like Elmo
  • Things got turned around for the Wings in the 2nd period when Joakim Andersson and Jonathan Ericsson scored 53 seconds apart. Andersson and Ericsson are both Swedish males.
  • The newest Wings commercial where Mike Babcock talks about the infusion of young talent into the lineup while the two best young players are either scratched or in the minors is literally the absolute dumbest fucking thing.
  • Mikael Samuelsson was on the ice for 7:03 tonight. He took ten shifts, the last one coming after the empty net goal. The one before that was 0:10 long on a power play that spent two minutes sitting on its own balls. He will make three million dollars this year.
  • Stephen Weiss' face is difficult to look at for any length of time. But I mean other than that I really like the guy.
  • Cleary, Alfredsson, and Franzen: zero goals and three assists through four games.
  • BOLD PREDICTION: This team is going to struggle to score goals again this year.
  • Probably not that bold.

Go Wings, and other teams.