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Eulogy: Remembering the 2013 Nashville Predators

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I'm blatantly taking Puck Daddy's thing, except all of their eulogies are done for playoff teams. Since I had so much fun writing the Predators eulogy last year when they were eliminated by the Coyotes, I thought I'd go ahead and eulogize them again. Unfortunately, they got eliminated two weeks before the season ended.

The Bridgestone during the second intermission of a game with Dallas.
The Bridgestone during the second intermission of a game with Dallas.
USA TODAY Sports

Dear Predators Faithful,

Nobody cares about you. Your team is garbage. You didn't make the playoffs and aren't worth the time it takes to spit out 1,000 words about how meaningless your team is. If this were a real funeral, it would be held outside on the outskirts of town where the corpse of your season is unceremoniously dumped and left for carrion. Digging an unmarked grave is more work than it's worth for you. Get bent.

Sincerely,

Me.