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BOLD PREDICTIONS 2014: The Medium Heat

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Charlie Crowhurst

Welcome back to the eve of a brand new hockey season, folks!  With the new season comes a new reason to live. Of course I'm talking about the light we bring into your world through the magic of our BOLD PREDICTIONS. In case you're unfamiliar with the concept, we're all going to tell you what's going to happen this season and stake our entire internet reputations on how insanely intelligent we are. However, we have a BOLD twist to our predictions: After everything is said and done, we're actually going to live up to the stuff we got wrong instead of pretending like we never said it.

Heading into day two of the predictions, we've got the more-experienced guessers. As a reminder, each person gets four predictions to post and we'll all have responses to those predictions. The person who gets the most right will get to write the bragging recap post and will also get to wear my crown as the undisputed master of prognostication.

As always, feel free to put your own predictions in any one of the three BOLD PREDICTIONS posts this week. We'll give shout outs to the best of them when all is said and done.

Detroitnr1

1. The Detroit Red Wings will win the Stanley Cup.

J.J. Cool jinx
WingedOctopus Are we talking this year or...
Jeff Yeah if they change their colors to black & gold and rename their team the Bruins.
Kyle don't
uvgt2bkdnme Put the controller down.
Graham Every year someone predicts this, and every year it's a jinx.

2. John Tavares wins the Hart Trophy.

J.J. Who?
WingedOctopus Did I accidentally click an Islanders blog?
Jeff Hey, the Islanders might actually be good now. This wouldn't be THAT crazy.
Kyle He plays for the Islanders.
uvgt2bkdnme Who will win what now?
Graham You're 5 years too early with this one

3. Stephen Weiss scores over 55 points for the Wings this season.

J.J. I have a guy on Twitter who promised to eat TWO hats if Weiss is good. I'm rooting for this one.
WingedOctopus After a preseason spent with Ferraro and Nestrasil on his wing...
Jeff lol
Kyle I will eat my own ass if this happens.
uvgt2bkdnme I said put the controller down.
Graham And is still outscored by Valtteri Filppula by 10 points

4. The Pittsburgh Penguins narrowly miss the playoffs...and win the draft lottery.

J.J. Next year's big NHL fashion trend is foil-lined headwear.
WingedOctopus They draft a goalie at #1 again
Jeff ...only if Crosby gets arrested.
Kyle It is literally impossible to do this in the Metropolitan Division
uvgt2bkdnme GM Jim Rutherford follows up by re-signing Marc-Andre Fleury to lifetime extension.
Graham Or they'll finish 2nd in the lottery and trade Crosby to move up a spot.

Jeff

1. Brendan Smith will lead all Red Wings defensemen in points.

Graham 20 points from a defenseman is not that big a deal
uvgt2bkdnme NHL.com's stats servers crash.
Detroitnr1 Jakub Kindl finishes in a close second place.
J.J. NHL Scoring decides to give points to Defensemen for turnovers
Kyle Jeff loves the Bruins
WingedOctopus Thanks for jinxing Kronwall's groin.

2. Henrik Zetterberg scores at least 30 goals.

Graham That sound you hear is Zetterberg's spinal cord imploding on itself
uvgt2bkdnme Would have had 40 if he didn't bank 10 of them off Abdelkader.
Detroitnr1 In the playoffs as he guides the Wings to Cup #12.
J.J. Immediately called the most-overrated player in hockey by bitter dickholes.
Kyle Jeff loves the Bruins
WingedOctopus At least 7 of these goals are due to his beard distracting the goalie.

3. Bruins will not win the Atlantic Division.

Graham Get ready to see some truly amazing Tuukkaa Rask temper tantrums this year
uvgt2bkdnme Torey Krug, Reilly Smith not who the Bruins thought they were.
Detroitnr1 Because the Red Wings will.
J.J. Turns out Shawn Thornton really WAS the glue holding them together.
Kyle Jeff loves the Bruins
WingedOctopus Because Jarome Iginla is a big selfish meanie for wanting money in exchange for hockey services

4. Tyler Seguin puts up 100 points.

Graham Jeff has some how become aware of Ty-Ty's off-ice scoring system
uvgt2bkdnme *PIMs #FTFY
Detroitnr1 Over the course of the next four seasons.
J.J. Bonus: Loui Eriksson and Reilly Smith combine for fewer than 50
Kyle Jeff loves the Bruins
WingedOctopus Why do we care about him again?

Thoughts? You got any predictions left in you?