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NHL Open Thread: April 1st

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This showed up, so I used it.
This showed up, so I used it.
Sergei Belski-USA TODAY Sports

Happy April Fool's Day you idiots! Let's watch some hockey together and say mean things when people disappoint us.

Tonight_s_schedule_apr_1_medium

Four Meaningful games on a night chocked full of NHL action.

  • One New Jersey loss and I'll stop worrying about them, I promise. Of course, that's not going to come tonight because they're playing Buffalo. Don't worry, the Devils play Washington later this week. There's the loss [vomits]
  • Toronto losing to Calgary would be too funny. This won't happen. It can't. Can it?
  • My Western team the Dallas Stars could do us a solid by smacking down the Caps. I like their chances in this one. Ovi has been awful lately and the Stars are fighting for their own playoff lives.
  • Stick an unwashed ball gag in my mouth and call me Patty, but I'm actually rooting for the Avalanche. They're starting to suffer injuries of their own now, so Columbus will read them the riot act, but I guess I'll pull for them.
  • Florida/Isles and Canes/Pens happens too. I'm positively turgid at the thought of skipping over those games to watch other things.
  • Montreal is ahead of Tampa by two points, who is ahead of Detroit by seven. We're not going to catch either team, but if we want to try, we should be pulling for the Habs tonight.
  • Philadelphia vs. St. Louis should be something of a torch-passing zeitgeist for Wings fans as we continue to say goodbye to the dirty shitheels in St. Louis and welcome their less-talented Eastern equivalent the Philadelphia Flyers. Go chaos in this one.
  • I'll admit that I'm interested in watching Tortorella vs. Vigneault. Go Rangers.
  • For the other late games? Whatever. I don't care.

It's an open thread. Be open.