Welcome back, folks! It's been a while since I've done one of these. It's not so much that I haven't ready anything funny online for a while. Far from it. It's just that it's been a while since something hockey-related has given me this much of a laugh.
If you're a regular reader at WIIM, you might have never noticed this, but recently an agreement between Yahoo and SB Nation has created a lovely little subcommunity for some of our articles. You see, for the last little while, people on Yahoo have been treated to WIIM articles based on their browsing history. You may have read Kyle's recap of the un-televised preseason game against Chicago here and known what he was about, but Yahoo commenters didn't take kindly to being called "Fart-smokers."
Everyone is owning me on line but this guy help made me feed better pic.twitter.com/4FrAhWVa4D— Kyle (@KyleWIIM) September 26, 2014
However, if there's anything Yahoo commenters hate more than irreverence, it's satire. For that reason, the comments on Yahoo's side of the How to Hate the Atlantic: Detroit Red Wings post is my thing I have read this week which make me laugh.
It seems insulting to your intelligence to suggest that I maaaaaaaaybe had my tongue planted a bit firmly in my cheek when I posted that, but hey, if I'm going to assume that this article is going to show up on Yahoo, I owe it to their readers to make sure that we're clear that I'm a Red Wings fan and that the How to Hate the Red Wings article was not actually earnest advice to talk shit to Red Wings fans by mentioning all the banners in their rafters.
Take the very first comment on that article for example
In fairness, I'm not actually sure that john d didn't get it here so much as he just felt like something was amiss and that yelling at it would protect him.
I have disappointed Waluigi and a guy whose avatar seems to be some sort of sheep wearing a sex harness. The shame will stay with me always.
Wheat, actually. Kansas produces a lot of wheat.
You son of a bitch. Stay out of my yearbooks!
So, so close with this one. A part of me wants to grab AyAron by the shoulders and stare into his/her eyes until the realization dawns, but another part realizes that this question was almost certainly asked rhetorically dismissive as if to disprove my article with the rock-solid logic that if probably doesn't hurt Red Wings fans' feelings to be reminded of their banners.
Not everybody over there missed the point though. There were several very sharp cookies who picked up on it, and even tried to fight the good fight against the mole horde that is Yahoo comments.
It's a good try. It really is, but asking commenters over there to think before they post is kind of like asking dolphins to pray before they eat. You're way more likely to get accosted with a dolphin dick than you are to get them to listen to you.
You belong with us, Heidi. Come towards the light.
I think in the end, Felix said it best though.
Right on, Felix. Right. On.
[Edit: Apparently this did make it to Yahoo, but the pictures didn't carry over. I'm hoping this update shows up over there. If so, then you have to click here to read the full post on WIIM]