This is your intro. I believe in working as hard to start things as the Red Wings
[comment on refereeing, special teams, and overall shots]
[comment on goaltending]
1st Period 01:51 - Pittsburgh Goal: Patric Hornqvist (wrist shot) from Kris Letang and Blake Comeau
Pittsburgh scores first after nearly two minutes of pressure by the Penguins as Hornqvist finds a rebound off the back boards. Kronwall brings the puck into the Wings' zone for Pittsburg and falls over, Giving Malkin a good scoring chance that Mrazek stops. Glendening and Sheahan can't stop Malkin from making a play while falling to the ice, so Sheahan has to hurry to clear a puck out of danger, passing it directly to Paul Martin at the point. Martin, Letang, and Malkin set up the cycle helped out by Hornqvist and Comeau down low to get it back up high for a Letang shot that goes just wide, but that Hornqvist picks up off the boards and puts behind Mrazek off his post. In this whole sequence, Jurco is blameless and will have his minus cleared. I'm going to give Kronwall a turnover minus for setting the puck up on a tee for Malkin and then I'm going to give him half a coverage minus on stepping to the net-front to tie up Malkin blocking Ericsson to keep him away from Hornqvist. Sheahan will get a turnover minus for a bad job clearing it right to a zone cycle setup. Ericsson and Glendening each keep their minuses for their inability to stop this play when the puck came into their areas.
1st Period 12:15 - Pittsburgh Goal: Blake Comeau (wrist shot) from Patric Hornqvist
Pittsburgh scores again on a turnover behind the Wings net that Hornqvist feeds out from for a Comeau goal. Niklas Kronwall eliminates Hornqvist at the half-wall as he enters the zone on the right wing side. allowing Glendening to come and pick it up, skating behind the net. With the Pens' forecheck loading to the side Glendening is heading towards, he out-thinks himself and leaves the puck behind just inside the trapezoid. Hornqvist has already gotten the jump on Kronwall and gets to this puck first, putting it out front where only Comeau resides. Weiss tries to get there, but Comeau snaps it right through. This one is on Glendening and Kronwall. Weiss will be cleared, as he's pushing hard to come out of his position as an outlet up the wall. Sheahan and Ericsson will both also be cleared. Ericsson comes behind the net to set up a chance for Glendening to beat the forecheck by turning tight around behind his own net and instead Glendening gives the puck up (which will earn him a turnover minus). Kronwall is kind of caught by the bad decision, but he'll keep his minus for letting Hornqvist make the pass.
2nd Period 03:04 - Pittsburgh Goal: David Perron (wrist shot) from Maxim Lapierre and Paul Martin
Another couple of shitheads get points as Detroit's defense screws up again, leading to an easy tap-in. Paul Martin is able to dump a clearing attempt back below the net where Lapierre and Smith can battle for it. Smith originally gets it and holds of Lapierre, but then he inexplicably tries to make an insanely hard-to-make pass to Andersson and instead loses the puck and positioning, allowing Lapierre to shovel the puck into Mrazek's pads from the side of the net. Perron arrives just as the rebound is coming to the top of the crease and sweeps it inside the far post. Marchenko will be cleared here as he's playing outlet to a Smith pass that doesn't come. Andersson will have his minus halved for the same reason except he's closer and I think quicker recognition helps him get to this puck. Smith will get a turnover minus for this mistake. Both Miller and Datsyuk let Perron go with neither deciding they're going to be at the net-front when the Wings need somebody there. Datsyuk and Miller will each get a half-minus.
2nd Period 07:52 - Pittsburgh Goal: Nick Spaling (tip-in) from Rob Scuderi and Simon Despres
Hahaha whatever. Sutter wins a race to a loose dump-in at the corner and pushes it around the boards to Scuderi to set up the zone for the Penguins. Scuderi and Despres play catch to give the Penguins' defense an angle to the net. With Zetterberg too far to the inside, Scuderi is able to take a couple steps in and wrist it at the traffic all over Mrazek. Spaling is five feet above anybody else in this mess and gets his stick on the puck as it goes through, deflecting it low past Mrazek. I'm going to clear Nyquist as the far-side point man. Abdelkader will get a half-minus for losing the race to Sutter and then staying low, which helps cause other problems, especially for Zetterberg, who has to chase around too much high due to this overcollapsed coverage. Kronwall will also get a half-minus for staying too low instead of going out and challenging Comeau and the shooting lane. Zetterberg keeps his minus for too much scrambling, but he won't get extra blame for having to cover so much ground.
2nd Period 13:26 - Detroit Goal (PP): Stephen Weiss (wrist shot) from Henrik Zetterberg and Niklas Kronwall
Hahahah whatever again. Zetterberg wins the opening faceoff on the power play and the Wings get set up. This almost goes awry when Z gets into a board battling with Scuderi down low, but Nyquist steps in to pull it to the corner away from the pressure before resetting the umbrella. As Nyquist and Kronwall play catch to get it all set back up, Abdelkader takes the net-front and Weiss goes to the slot. Kronwall takes the last pass from Nyquist and quickly passes to Zetterberg high in the right circle. Z immediately passes it to the slot area where Weiss essentially redirects the pass toward the net. Fleury stretches out after the puck goes by him, which ends up being a blessing. Weiss' shot hits the far post and rolls up to Fleury's leg. When Fleury brings it back to seal off the post, he kicks it into his own net. Zetterberg will get a half-plus for the faceoff win and Abdelkader a half-screener's assist. Fleury picks up the shot-redirect late because of Abby's presence.
1st Period 03:10 - Brendan Smith (holding) against Sidney Crosby: The Penguins get another good scoring chance that Crosby almost finishes at the net-front, except for a hold by Smith to prevent it. I'm going to give Smith a half-minus. It's a good penalty to prevent a goal, but he's partially responsible for Crosby getting the kind of position that created the need to take it.
2nd Period 13:02 - Steve Downie (hooking) against Riley Sheahan: The refs give the Wings a power play because they're down 4-0. No adjustment. Any other time this is a stick-lift.
2nd Period 16:05 - Jonathan Ericsson (hooking) against Nick Spaling: Riggy gets behind his man and hooks him to stop it from being an odd-man rush. Minus for Ericsson.
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Score effects derby.
Score effects 500.
I also believe in finishing as strong as the Red Wings.
Corsi Timeline from Hockeystats.ca