/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/51196445/108730225.0.jpg)
It’s that time of year again! Time for our writers to make some bold predictions about the upcoming hockey season. If you haven’t experienced this series before, our writers break into groups of three or four, and each make five BOLD predictions for the 2016-17 season. We then respond to our other group members’ predictions.
Feel free to put your own predictions in the comments and/or respond to our predictions in the comment sections.
This year we have three groups. Today’s group is Sara, Robert, and Josh Pickering. Enjoy their predictions, and come back tomorrow for Group 2!
Sara:
1. Red Wings advance past the first round of the playoffs
Josh: Then pack it in and call the season a success
Robert: To once again face Tampa Bay
2. Neither Justin Abdelkader nor Steve Ott lead the Wings in penalty minutes
Josh: Not including minutes for game misconducts
Robert: Because they finish tied for the lead
3. Danny DeKeyser has 30+ assists
Josh: But is the lowest goal scoring defenceman
Robert: But is still second to Smith in defenseman scoring
4. The Red Wings score 10+ short handed goals
Josh: 9+ by Athanasiou
Robert: With 3 of them by Luke Glendening
5. Gustav Nyquist scores more goals than Frans Nielsen
Josh: With most being setup by Nielsen
Robert: But they both score over 20
Robert:
1. Five Red Wings will score 20 goals, Justin Abdelkader will not be one of them.
Sara: But he will meet one of his 20 life goals - eating 1000 marshmallow peeps on the bench during games.
Josh: If you mean Ott (2) + Miller (3) + Glendening (5) + Helm (10) = 20 than I am with you
2. Both special teams units will finish the season in the Top 15.
Sara: of America’s Got Talent, they only get beat by acts featuring dancing dogs.
Josh: After acquiring Trouba
3. Anthony Mantha will score more goals than Drew Miller, Luke Glendening and Steve Ott...combined.
Sara: while in Grand Rapids.
Josh: But not more than Luke on the backhand
4. Dylan Larkin will lead the team in points but will not lead them in goals or assists
Sara: but he will lead the team in embarrassing defenders, including our own when he bails them out.
Josh: But D-Boz will lead in goals scored in the dungeon
5. Two of Xavier Ouellet, Ryan Sproul and Nick Jensen will finish the season with the Wings.
Sara: due to injuries to Kronwall, DeKeyser, and Marchenko. Ericsson will be healthier than ever!
Josh: If Smith doesn't
Josh:
1. Athanasiou plays in 60+ games for the Wings
Sara: and plays 4 minutes per game
Robert: On a line with Glendening and Miller
2. Ericsson misses more than 20 games as a healthy scratch
Sara: how about all the games?
Robert: And 20 more with unhealthy scratches
3. Smith leads the defence in PP points
Sara: but the fanbase still hates him and thinks he's a chunkhead
Robert: People still only talk about something Smith did 2 seasons ago
4. Holland kicks more than just tires, lands Trouba
Sara: and for the low, low price of 4 easy payments of $19.99...and three players...and a draft pick
Robert: In New Jersey during a three way deal for Kyle Quincey
5. Mrazek finishes season as a Vezina finalist
Sara: I couldn't hear the name of the Vezina winner of the nonstop shouts of "TRADE JIMMY, HE'S A BUM!"
Robert: After leading the league in shutouts