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Songs In The Key Of Ice

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Let’s update some goal songs already!

TIDAL X: Brooklyn Photo by Theo Wargo/Getty Images for TIDAL

Now that the summer doldrums are upon us in the post-Draft portion of the offseason, it’s time to have a little fun at the expense of some of our favorite players (and maybe a few of our less-favorite players) by coming up with some new goal songs!

Commenters MrIncredibl3 and Mansteak kicked this idea off on June 13th and 14th (kudos!!!) talking about prospect Kevin Bahl and recommending a goal scoring song of AC/DC’s “Big Balls”. With that type of punny goodness in mind, a few of us had some ideas on goal songs for various Red Wings as well as other players around the league.

Kicking things off with our fearless leader, JJ suggests “Money For Nothing” by Dire Straits as the new song for Justin Abdelkader - and I quote:

>both as a tongue-in-cheek joke about his contract and that it’s a song that’s as close to being about being a piano-mover as you’re going to get.

Well played, JJ.

Peter came thru with “Sexy Thing (I Believe In Miracles)” by Hot Chocolate to soothe our auditory senses when, by some miracle, Luke Witkoswki lights the lamp. Can we get Luke some aloe with this one?

Sara had several suggestions offered without explanation - but that’s ok, nobody needs a reason for their selections! She’d like to hear “Bad Reputation” by Joan Jett for Jonathan Ericsson, Elvis’ “Steamroller Blues” for Niklas Kronwall, “St. Jimmy” by Green Day if Jimmy Howard were to ever pull an Ozzie and launch one the full length of the ice, “This Will Be” by Natalie Cole for Evgeny Svechnikov (oooooh, somebody has a crush!), and “I Want You Back” by The Jackson 5 when Tomas Tatar comes back to town. As a bonus, and naturally saving the best for last, she’s requesting the rendition of “I Will Follow Him” from the movie Sister Act to play for Henrik Zetterberg. Indeed, Sara, there’s no mountain too high that would keep us away from that glorious man.

Mike B wants the entire soundtrack from the 90’s movie “Fly Away Home” to play whenever Gustav Nyquist pots one. That might keep people in the arena a bit longer than some would like, but that’s just more opportunity to sell merch and concessions!

Personally, I’m in favor of new Red Wing Jonatan Berggren choosing Swedish sensation ABBA’s “Dancing Queen” as his goal song, at least until his birthday this July (young and sweet, only 17...). Digging into the past, I think Riley Sheahan missed a golden opportunity at the last game at The Joe to have his goal song be Three Dog Night’s “One Is The Loneliest Number”. Filip Zadina, wearing #11 at prospect camp, I think needs to adopt “One By One” from Foo Fighters as his goal song. To bring another club into this, the Edmonton Oilers need to play Marilyn Manson’s “Personal Jesus” when phenom Connor McDavid tallies one.

Now for the really fun part - we are turning you guys loose on this. Go nuts in the comments, but remember that community guidelines will still apply. Also, let’s try to keep things at least adjacent to the realm of good taste - so try to stay away from stuff like “Hurt” by Nine Inch Nails, “Keep Yourself Alive” by Queen, “Cuts Like A Knife” by Bryan Adams, “Head Games” by Foreigner, or anything else that might be making fun of someone for an injury. The best comments may even be lucky enough to get 15 seconds of fame in a tweet for the whole world to see!

Let’s have some fun!