We are back for another round of BOLD PREDICTIONS!
As we’ve done in the past, we have racked our brains to come up with only the best, artisan, organic, grass-fed bold predictions, so that you can make a ton of money betting on them.*
Today’s group will be two-time reigning champion Sara, accompanied by Jack, Josh, and Rob. Come back tomorrow for our other group.
(* that was a joke. It’s probably a bad idea to use any of these as the basis for real money bets.)
Prediction 1: 20 goal scorer Taro Hirose CATCH THE FEVER
Jack: Goals instead of assists?
Josh: Made all the more impressive if he does it while sharing the most ice time with Nielsen and Erne
Rob: Be careful cafching fevers, they have been known to cause hallucinations.
Prediction 2: Danny DeKeyser career high in points
Jack: In on this! All aboard the Hronek-DDK hype train!!
Josh: He almost has to with the minutes he’s about to get
Rob: Is 31, set back in the 2014-15 season and not likely to be reached again.
Prediction 3: Christoffer Ehn is traded
Jack: For a bag of pucks?
Josh: Bert and Erne go on a short lasting hunger strike in response
Rob: That is a funny way to spell unclaimed on waivers.
Prediction 4: Wings end up in a 13+ round shootout
Jack: That probably results in them losing out on Alexis Lafreniere when they win
Josh: The winner is scored by Abdelkader, the only game winner he scores
Rob: Because the first 12 rounds were all seven defensemen, Luke Glendening, Darren Helm, Justin Abdelkader, Adam Erne and Christoffer Ehn.
Prediction 5: WINGS WILDCARD PLAYOFFS HERE WE COME
Jack: I’ll have what you’re having
Josh: And in the very rare event that fails, the whole team can have a BBQ at my place, my treat
Rob: Just give them two more years to get there.
Prediction 1: Hirose gets 40 assists
Sara: AND the 20 goals I predicted, and he only gets points on #TacoTuesdays
Josh: Setting up Athanasiou for another 30+
Rob: 30 of which go directly to Athanasiou.
Prediction 2: Svechnikov scores 30 goals across both leagues
Sara: Those leagues being the AHL and a GR Foosball Club.
Josh: I’m afraid to know what the split is
Rob: 29 for Grand Rapids and 1 for Detroit.
Prediction 3: Veleno and Zadina are both up before 2020
Sara: Zadina scores in Montreal, and Habs fans furiously tweet about Zadina holding Veleno back.
Josh: Just please not at the expense of injuries to Larkin, Mantha, Bert, and AA
Prediction 4: Hronek surpasses 40 points
Sara: Please say “39+1” out of respect for those of us still emotionally distressed by “40”
Josh: Great minds think alike
Rob: But still does not get more power play time than Mike Green.
Prediction 5: The Tampa Bay Lightning actually, finally, win the Stanley Cup
Sara: I’m not sure stealing the Cup in an elaborate plot involving a thousand balloons, a catapult, and 3 medium sized elephants can be called “winning”
Josh: On the back of Witkowski of course
Rob: By beating Colorado and thus continuing Yzerman’s dominance over the Avs.
Prediction 1: Hronek, Cholowski, and Kaski all play more games in a Red Wings uniform than Green, Daley, and Ericsson this season
Sara: PLOT TWIST: Cholowski and Kaski play those games wearing the uniforms of Daley, and Ericsson. Green has a plague named after him.
Jack: My goodness, this would be awesome.
Rob: But Green, Daley and Ericsson still lead them in giveaways.
Prediction 2: Anthony Mantha scores 40 goals, plays all 82 games
Sara: Only if he plays with Pass Master Filppula, the Finnish King of No Finish.
Jack: Also awesome.
Rob: Fans still complain that he is not consistent enough and lazy.
Prediction 3: Jimmy Howard signs a multi-year extension
Sara: With a psychiatric program after forcing all the defensemen to race through a maze of death traps
Jack: Please no. It’s time to just move on.
Rob: With Buffalo
Prediction 4: Hronek pots 50 points, 20+ on the powerplay
Sara: It was a bold move to play Hronek 45 minutes a game, but it worked
Jack: Now we are talking really bold
Rob: And Mike Green still averages more PP time.
Prediction 5: Zadina isn’t called up once until the new year but scores 10+ goals to end the season
Sara: A Zadina GWG somehow eliminates the Habs from the playoffs and also the NHL
Jack: Go Griffins!
Rob: Fans complain he ruined the Wings draft lottery position.
Prediction 1: The top scoring defenseman will surpass Kronwall’s team defensemen leading 27 points from last year.
Sara: But they will not surpass his place IN MY HEART
Jack: We all know who! Hronek Hype!!
Josh: Cholowski and Hronek both do, with Hronek doubling it
Prediction 2: The Red Wings will have five players with 20 goals this season
Sara: And one of them will be Jimmy Howard. Make Sega Genesis NHL goalie breakaway goals great again!
Jack: AA, Mantha, Larkin....?
Josh: Mantha, Larkin, Athanasiou, Bertuzzi......and.....Hirose?
Prediction 3: Justin Abdelkader will score 10 goals this season
Sara: And all of them successfully challenged for goaltender interference.
Jack: And his contract will still be immovable
Josh: for your Grand Rapids Griffins
Prediction 4: More than one Red Wing will deserve an All Star nod
Sara: Deserve? Yes. Receive? HRONEK because the NHL ignores our forwards.
Jack: Larkin will still be snubbed
Josh: Spicy Meatball Mantha going to pile up goals this year, AA beats Larkin’s record time
Prediction 5: The Red Wings will be within five points of a Wild Card spot on February 1st.
Jack: I hope not. Sell! Tank! Rinse! Repeat! (until 2021)
Josh: We did say go bold