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It’s ugly sweater season: Detroit’s worst-ever jerseys

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NHL: DEC 22 Panthers at Red Wings Photo by Scott Grau/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

There’s been a lot of talk around jerseys lately with the revelation of the Winter Classic and Stadium Series jerseys for the four teams playing. With the disclaimer that taste is personal to each person, I feel completely confident objectively ranking the four of them:

  1. Dallas
  2. ...
  3. ...
  4. ...
  5. Nashville
  6. Colorado
  7. Los Angeles

Dallas’ only problem is the gloves/pants mismatch. Nashville nods to the city’s hockey history but are boring. Colorado’s are fitting because they’re tacky and the use of negative space immediately draws your eyes to the A-hole. Los Angeles’ are what I can best describe as ice skating uphill.

Hey, ugly ain’t boring.

With that in mind though, we wanted to take a look at our own closet and come to grips with the Red Wings’ worst-ever jerseys. This will help solidify our judgment of the other hideous jerseys as righteous.

For the sake of argument, I’m considering everything ever worn by the franchise. This allows us a lot more leeway than just saying worst Red Wings jerseys (and it gives us the top two finishers easily). I’ll rank mine and then we’ll let you the people decide once and for all which one is the worst.

(Go to NHLUniforms.com for all of the options)

1930-32 Detroit Falcons

Between being the Cougars and the Red Wings, the franchise spent 1930-32 as the Detroit Falcons and the only time they’ve used a color other than red or white in their scheme was a disaster. Without the yellow, it’s kind of a boring sweater but no more offensive than the boring ‘DETROIT’ sweaters worn by the Cougars in 27-28 or 29-30. That lil’ splash of mustard in there on the arched letters make this kit McSuck.

1928-29 Detroit Cougars

I know graphic design in the 1920s wasn’t quite as advanced as it is nowadays and to be honest, I really like the simplicity of the arm stripes with the big arched Detroit and the idea of there being a logo beneath it.

But c’mon that cougar is brutal. That thing looks like it’s about to chase Rick Moranis through Central Park. You could tell me that this was the Detroit Shreks and I would believe that as much as I believe it’s a cougar.

2016 Red Wings Stadium Series

(Via sportslogos.net)

This one is a tough call for me because I don’t actually hate it and I really like the logo and the fact that the team went white-gloves with it. The sash is just gaudy to me. I just don’t know if I would like it a little more or hate it a LOT more if it were a horizontal stripe instead. The sash going under the right arm, but not continuing to wrap around the back is another curious choice where I can’t say for certain whether I would appreciate or hate the change.


Outside of those, the only other candidates are the Winter Classic jerseys from 2008-09 (a throwback to the 1926-27 Cougars), the 2013-14 Winter Classics, the Centennial Classic in 2016-17, the 1991-92 alternate throwback (to the aforementioned boring Cougars logos), or your pick of the regular Detroit jersey that’s been around since forever. Personally, if I have to pick there, I’d go with the earliest of them because the logo is kinda small on them and I like it bigger.

Poll

What’s the worst-ever Detroit uniform?

This poll is closed

  • 33%
    1930-32 Detroit Falcons
    (134 votes)
  • 19%
    1928-29 Detroit Cougars
    (78 votes)
  • 27%
    2015-16 Red Wings Stadium Series
    (109 votes)
  • 1%
    1927-28 Detroit Cougars
    (7 votes)
  • 0%
    1929-30 Detroit Cougars
    (4 votes)
  • 0%
    1926-27 Detroit Cougars
    (4 votes)
  • 0%
    2008-09 Red Wings Winter Classic
    (2 votes)
  • 1%
    2013-14 Red Wings Winter Classic
    (8 votes)
  • 3%
    1991-92 Red Wings Alternate Throwbacks
    (13 votes)
  • 9%
    2016-17 Red Wings Centennial Classic
    (39 votes)
  • 0%
    Other (specify year in comments)
    (3 votes)
401 votes total Vote Now