Welcome dedicated hockey fans! Tonight the chase for the Stanley Cup starts off and we’re left on the sidelines to root against all these buttheads (while deciding which buttheads to root slightly less-against). Here’s what’s on the schedule for tonight.
Columbus Blue Jackets (2EWC) at Tampa Bay Lightning (1ATL) - 7:00pm ET
The Setup: Tampa is going to roll these chumps... or they’re going to lose and get laughed at forever and ever. Can’t wait to see.
Pittsburgh Penguins (3MET) at New York Islanders (2MET) - 7:30pm ET
The Setup: The Penguins are probably going to find their footing for the playoffs having all that experience and Crosby and whatnot but I’m pulling real hard for Barry Trotz to Barry Trotzify them.
St Louis Blues (3CTL) at Winnipeg Jets (2CTL) - 8:00pm ET
The Setup: I don’t like either of these fanbases, but I think I dislike Ryan O’Reilly more than anybody on either roster, so go Jets?
Dallas Stars (1WWC) at Nashville Predators (1CTL) - 9:30pm ET
The Setup: I am really trying hard to figure out how to care who wins this one.
Las Vegas Golden Knights Penguins (3PAC) at San Jose Sharks (2PAC) - 7:30pm ET
The Setup: Go Gustav Nyquist!