The other day on Twitter, we held a bit of a vote to see if we could come up with this season’s official name for the press box. Since @TPLHockey first dubbed it the Leino Lounge, we’ve had a few different names for it based on who our favorite healthy scratch would be. This year, we’ve given it a new name.
To celebrate the one-year deal for everybody’s favorite zombie and his subsequent claim to the healthy scratch list, we gave the ol’ White Watchtower a bit of a jauntier name: The Cleary Cabana. It almost sounds pleasant from here to have a place where players can sit and watch the team.
But c’mon, we couldn’t name it something like that without giving it its theme song. I asked our followers to provide the proper lyrics to the theme song from the Cleary Cabana, and they delivered. Juuuuust in case your mother didn’t raise you with an ear for Mr. I-Write-The-Songs himself, here’s the tune we were looking to parody.
– – –
Almost all of our contestants got that, and we’ll post each submission, but let’s get straight to the winner Thanks so much to @TheRoar_24 for getting this song permanently stuck in my head (and for the banner pic):
His name is Daniel, he is a forward
With red feathers on his chest and a face like all the rest
he would skate poorly and take a roster spot
And while he tried to be a star
his knees won’t let him get very far
and on the crowded bench, he wouldn’t move an inch
but babs and kenny like him
don’t that make you cringe
[Chorus:]
At the Cleary (CLEARY!) Clearycabana (clearycabana)
The hottest spot south of grand rapids (here)
At the Cleary (CLEARY!) Clearycabana
Hockey and passion were always in fashion
At the Cleary….. they fell in love
His name was mantha
He wore a helmet
He just skated very well, and cleary sighed no way in hell
And when he finished, cleary called him over
and then mantha screamed aloud
holding his leg wrapped in a shroud
And then the punches flew and sticks were smashed in two
There was a spot on the roster
and it went to who?
[Chorus]
At the cleary.. she lost her love
His name is daniel, he won a cup ring,
But that was just 6 years ago, when they used to have a show
Now it’s a reload, but not for daniel,
Still in that brace he needs to wear,
how does he skate? just very fair
he sits there so refined, his left eye looks a bit blind
he lost his youth and he lost his knees
Now he’s on the third line
[Chorus]
At the cleary…. don’t fall in love
Don’t fall in love
– – –
Just… beautiful.
Up next, we have a submission from @ianverhey
His name was Daniel
A hockey player
He switched to number seventeen but still has two awful knees
Hey, he’s a leader and he plays gritty
Kids thought they’d have a spot to steal
Kenny gave him a new deal
But then his stock still fell because he plays like hell
He’s watching from above the ice
Sitting next to Weiss
At the Cleary, Cleary Cabana
They’re wearing gray jerseys in practice
At the Cleary, Cleary Cabana
All the young talent is down in Grand Rapids
As for Cleary…
He’s wasting space
His name was Stephen
Signed a big contract
Supposed to play the second line but he couldn’t take the grind
He once scored thirty, no wait, he didn’t
The beat writers pumped his tires
While he was a dumpster fire
So now his groin is fixed, he’s supposed to play top-6
But he still can’t get in the lineup
Over Glendening
At the Cleary, Cleary Cabana
They’re wearing gray jerseys in practice
At the Cleary, Cleary Cabana
All the young talent is down in Grand Rapids
As for Cleary…
He feels the hate
– – –
Good addition of Weiss to this one and I like the ending.
Finally, we also got @BDJargon‘s submission
Broadcastin live on this cold, Cleary night
but I’m makin bank without even takin the ice.
Got a handshake from my man Kenny H.
Did he really think I’d get better with age.
So here I sit in this hockey savana
The IR club in the Cleary Cabana.
At the Cleary
Cleary Cabana
Last person to see me score was your ol’ nana.
At the Cleary
Cleary Cabana
Got my own no-contact bandana
With Danny…only Newfoundlanders care.
They say I’ve got this lingering injury
I won’t go any further cuz that’s perjury
But I’ve got team leadership to boot
Million bucks but no skates only shoes
A goal for me is a fata morgana
While I’m in the Cleary Cabana
At the Cleary
Cleary Cabana
Last person to see me score was your ol’ nana.
At the Cleary
Cleary Cabana
Got my own no-contact bandana
With Danny…only Newfoundlanders care.
– – –
BONUS
I was a little coy in talking about the song that I specifically wanted, but this entry from @MikeObrand set to Escape (The Pina Colada Song) was too good to disqualify and, honestly is my second-place finisher here anyway:
Headin’ down the Louis, covering the Wings game
Checkin out my credentials, hey they misspelled my name!
I went up to the checkpoint, my face was kind of red,
the guard laughed at the error, waved me in and said:
Welcome to Cleary’s Cabana, please enjoy your stay,
We only have seven outlets, please share with your deskmate,
No you can’t say hi to Nik Lidstrom, he’s getting of that thing,
Ok fine you can say hi, but please be discreet.
Which one was your favorite?
| @TheRoar_24 |
57 |
| @ianverhey |
24 |
| @BDJargon |
5 |
| @MikeObrand |
9 |
