Blue Jackets defeat Red Wings 5-4. Yes, it’s canon!

We played better! Some fun moments of offense but our defense struggled with a Griffwings patch job.

J.J.: hey you can’t have the recap done already

Me: game’s haunted

J.J.: what?

Me: (carrying player photos, rainbow chalk, candles, and an ancient book) game’s haunted

In conclusion: injuries

Let’s go!

First Period

We’re rocking 11 forwards and 7 defensemen. We’ll see what the Blash Bingo Wheel o’ Doom spins up. It’s already paired McIlrath and Hicketts which is going to be a great remake of Twins.

It’s all Blue Jackets the first few minutes but the Wings get in the offensive zone a few times for about 5 seconds. You can feel a goal is imminent and it was. Chaos in the crease, but not enough to challenge anything, and Texier makes it 1-0 Blue Jackets around six minutes in.

MORE CHAOS as Jimmy Howard was “scramblin around there like a monkey on a highwire” (you know that’s a Mickeyism. But we are shown mercy as the Blue Jackets don’t score when Jimmy took a quick holiday.

Halfway through the period and the shots are 10-5 in favor of Columbus. Both teams really motoring and the Wings are starting to make the game a bit more even in zone time. TYLER BERTUZZI TIE GAME! Bert was wound up for the shot and waited and waited and waited until the perfect moment. Patience.

Seven minutes to go and we’re on the powerplay! Mantha does another one of his patented “stroll into the zone through the entirety of the other team like a bunch of pylons” but did not score. Blue Jackets get a shorty chance but Jimmy makes a sassier save than we’ve seen from him in a while.

Two minutes to go and Blue Jackets get a rebound after a good save from Jimmy, luckily the second shot hit the side of the net. Jimmy needed to shake something off after that dive across the crease but seems ok.

Wings will finish the period on the penalty kill as McIlrath heads to the box. We did it! We’ll head into the second tied 1-1. We are bad at the second period, but maybe this time it will be different.

Second Period

We learned during intermission that Mick has never seen an episode of Seinfeld but Torts is a fan.

Narrator: This time was not different.

We start the second giving Jimmy an ulcer and the Jackets embarrass the Wings by having a 6v5 from a delayed call for a whole minute, maybe more. It was a high stick and McIlrath is back to the box for sports crimes three minutes in. Wings penalty kill time!

Now Bowey joins McIlrath in sports jail for boarding. It’ll be 46 seconds of 5v3. Howard hung out to dry as Atkinson waits on the doorstep for the tap in. It’s 2-1 Blue Jackets and they still have 1:30 of powerplay time. The remaining penalty is killed!

Seven minutes in and shots are 22-11 and the score is 2-1. Bertuzzi gets knocked over when he’s right in front of the net trying to shoot and he isn’t happy about it.

Nyquist almost gets his head removed by a shot and Jimmy gives him a little tap on the “rear end” like good job staying alive as Mantha breaks out the other way a but a great save from Korpisalo stops it. For his trouble, he gets LGD’s knee to the head (not on purpose) and Jones takes exception. Jones slashes Mantha and Wings get the powerplay with eight minutes to go.

Big chance here, Larkin gets dumped and Wings have 1:11 of 5v3 time. The Wings do not get a shot on net the whole time. Yike.

Dangit, Seth Jones scores...

...on his own net.

Hronek shows his own brand of patience and it’s a 2-2 tie!

Dylan McIlrath is now a three-peat criminal and is back to the booth of punishment. Wings penalty kill with 3:30 to go.

Folks, let me tell you something.

LUKE GLENDENING. BACKHAND. SHORTY. 3-2 WINGS! It was extremely on brand for LGD. Frans also gets his first point of the season holy jumpin’.

It was a rough start to the period, an awful powerplay, but the Wings kept fighting and we’re taking a one goal lead into the third.

Third Period

Off we go! Shots are 25-16 Columbus but we hold the 3-2 lead. Under two minutes in and Biega is hobbling a bit as he makes his way off the ice, luckily he’s no worse for wear and is back in the action.

Five minutes in and Jimmy had to stop a kind of breakaway but handled it no problem. Pace is still fast for a few minutes but finally a whistle as the Wings are going back on the penalty kill as Fabbri will sit in the sadness tank. The penalty is not killed. Bjorkstrand scores and Nyquist gets an apple. We’re tied 3-3.

The game is almost immediately not tied. Jenner is off to the side with a bad angle but somehow works that angle to snipe it up and in. 4-3 Columbus.

Mantha has been the sparkplug tonight, his shots aren’t going in but he’s generating excitement at least. About six and a half to go and we’re only on the fifth faceoff of the period.


It’s 5-3 Columbus. Robinson got around Hicketts with no pressure and gets the goal.

Mantha tries again to get something going, it didn’t work but we love him for trying.

Three and a half to go and Jimmy is off to the bench.

This time we won the faceoff and SCORE A GOAL! Bert gets the deflection off the shot from Cholowski and it’s now a one goal game. 5-4 Columbus.

Three to go and Jimmy is off to the bench.

Two to go. Nyquist is very involved in stopping our plans. Puck goes out of play and our top line gets a chance to recharge as Blash takes our timeout.

“Nielsen gave that away” lol. Another icing by Columbus and now the fun squad is back.

But it was not fun.

Wings lose 5-4.