Who loves cooking? Who loves the Red Wings? Who loves cooking with the Red Wings?! Well.. None of us, because odds are we have never actually cooked WITH them. But hey, we can pretend! What if we took our favorite Red Wings players and created dishes inspired by them out of the greatest of all foods... The Avocado! (This is not up for debate so put your keyboard-punching mitts down, nerds.)

Today, we will be making a lovely Avocado Salad! Here's what we need for ingredients:

ONE Pavelcado (to ensure maximum flavor, please make sure there are no bruises in the knee region)

ONE over-ripened Gustavocado

ONE head of Zetterberg Lettuce (this shit speaks for itself, people)

FOUR tablespoons of HOT SAUCE

Salt & Pepper for taste

The Assembly:

Here at Winging it in Motown, we pride ourselves on liking certain foods so much that we argue about them on Twitter and make ourselves look like complete jackasses. In this case, I think we can all agree that this is shaping up to be a real tasty dish.
First we want to dice the Pavelcado into small cubes. Not sure on size? Me either. Whatever, just dice the shit. Be careful, because the Pavelcado is tricky, and will most likely evade your knife by moving gracefully around your countertop. Why this food moves on it own is beyond me. Just be careful, folks. We don't want you accidentally chopping one of your fingers off.
Next, we mash the Gustavocado. The Gustavocados are grown in Grand Rapids, Michigan. They're left on the plant for about a year too long in order to be sure that it's ready to be eaten. (????)
What would a salad be without the lettuce? Well, it's a bit tough to cut into something as gorgeous as the Swedish-grown Zetterberg Lettuce. Seriously, it's beautiful. It's like.. The Mona Lisa of Lettuces, or something. Once you can get over it, and can cut it.. Turn the Zetterberg Lettuce around and cut it's back-parts and remove all of the bad parts. (UGH I AM SORRY)