Five Questions With(out) Stanley Cup of Chowder

SB Nation 2014 NHL Playoff Bracket

Before the playoffs started, we wanted to reach out and get to know our first round rival's blog. In the spirit of togetherness and good sportsmanship, we reached out to the Bruins blog Stanley Cup of Chowder so we could get to know them a little better. I thought this would help foster understanding and cooperation between the two sites, leading to a peaceful and entertaining first round. We'd know a little about them, they'd know a little about us, and everything would go swimmingly. It was a really great idea by me and something that probably should get me Nobel Prize consideration for trying.

Unfortunately, they never answered the questions and I'm left here with a slowly dying article draft two games into the series. I'm not going to let that stop me though. I'd like to think that I've learned a lot in the last week and, since I'm eminently qualified, I'm going to go ahead and take a shot at answering the questions like I think SCoC would have if they had bothered. Here goes.

1. What's your series prediction?

All my predictions are series. I'm a very series person. I take things very seriesly. I'd like to tell you that the Red Wings have a chance in this serious, but I seriesly don't see it getting past four games.

2. What scares you about the Wings?

I think you mean the "Red Wings". I'm not actually scared of wings. They have wings on airplanes and on birds and I think those things are pretty cool. Pterodactyls used to have wings and those were kind of scary, same with bats. I guess the thing that scares me is when wings don't have feathers on them because that means they're attached to things I don't like. Wait! Water wings! Water wings don't have feathers and those don't scare me. Ok, so it's just skin-wings that have no feathers.

3. Which facet of the game do you think the Bruins/Wings have the biggest advantage?

I think the Bruins are the best at all the things having to do with moving the hockeypuck and getting the hockeypuck and making the hockeypuck do the thing where the light happens and then a rave starts. I think the Wings have a big advantage in being Swedish Olympians. There are seriesly lots of Swedes on their roster.

4. What's the worst thing about the stereotypical Bruins fan?

How dare you imply that Bruins fans aren't all unique snowflakes! I am offended, this interview is nearly over!

5. Hahahahahaha Toronto, right?

Actually I'm a big fan of Toroto, as well as St. Louis, Minnesota, Colorado, Anaheim, Tampa Bay, Edmonton, Dallas, the New York Rangers, the Blue Jays, Team Rocket, the Lakers, the Spurs (San Antonio and Tottenham Hot), and whichever of the two CFL teams named the Roughriders is still around.

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Ok, well thank you, my own brain's interpretation of Stanley Cup of Chowder for the wonderful answers! If you're interested in the real SCoC, you can find them here (I promise that link goes to the actual site and not a picture I drew of a panda eating out of a dirty diaper).