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Hello, Watchers of Other Sports! I want YOU to become a hockey fan.

With the NHL making the leap back to ESPN, there’s a whole new world of potential viewers just waiting for someone to drag them into hockey fandom. Luckily, it has been quite the exciting start to the season and not just for the Red Wings. If you’ve caught just about any game so far, you’ve seen a lot of goals and a lot of…confrontations.

So, whether you’ve already watched some hockey, are thinking about watching hockey, or wouldn’t watch hockey if your dog’s life depended on it, all I ask is that you hear me out.

And then become a Red Wings fan.

Hockey may seem complicated with all the rules and the whistles and the paint on the ice, but there are really only a few basic things a beginner needs to know.

Hockey 101

  1. Puck goes in the net. The team that puts the most pucks in the opposing net wins.
  2. Knife boots. Sneakers? Spikes? Boring. KNIFE BOOTS? Hell yeah.
  3. There are three periods in a game. Game ends in a tie? Overtime. Still tied? Shootout. (Hockey fans, zip it about playoff rules ok we aren’t talking about that right now and you’ll scare them off).

Why Hockey?

Well, why do you watch the sports you already like? Unless you don’t like any sports then wow kudos on finding this write-up. Allow me to offer you a plethora of short sales pitches and see if one catches your fancy…

Busy life schedule?

No matter what your life schedule, you can probably find room for hockey. It’s not a billion games like MLB but it’s way more frequent than NFL.

Do you like stats?

Hooboy are there ever stats. Stats on stats on stats. Basic stats, fancy stats, charts, graphs, scatter plots, people who love arguing about stats – the hockey world has it all!

Enjoy deep dives into prospect development and draft speculation?

There are quite a few Online People who spend a lot of time curating content about young players pre- and post-draft. Videos and gifs galore!

Like to watch players collide with each other and unforgiving surfaces?

On purpose and by accident. Allowed by the rules and against the rules. There are always players colliding and scrapping and fighting and getting smooshed into the boards or flipping into the benches and sometimes you can see little cartoon birds fly around their heads when they fall down. Ok maybe that last part isn’t true.

Is it fun stirring the pot and making people Mad Online?

You won’t be able to avoid it even if you want to. Hockey fans love to argue online.

How about ASMR?

That may sound weird but trust me the scrape of skates on the ice and the sound of the puck hitting a stick or bouncing off the boards is so pleasant. Mmmmm.

Want to keep it casual?

You don’t have to care that much! There are plenty of games to watch and lots of players you don’t need to know anything about. Rules? Yeah there are rules but between the broadcasters, the internet and your knowledge of other sports you’ll figure out the main points pretty quick.

Want a sport to take over your life?

There is SO MUCH to care about. Hockey has all sorts of narratives, grudges, redemption arcs, legal drama, dark secrets, betrayal both real and imagined, and much more that can get your brain whirring and your blood boiling.

Mad about officiating in your sport?

Oh friend, officiating both during the games and at the higher level (NHL Player Safety) has been so bad. There is so much to get mad about and being mad is more fun when you’re mad with a passionate fanbase. Hockey is here for you.

Not convinced? *Turns on sad commercial music*.

You may not need hockey, but hockey needs you.

The NHL is not very good at bringing in new fans. Not all of that is due to lack of trying, but some of it is. If you stick around, you’ll find out there are a lot of things wrong in hockey from the NHL down to youth teams. The more people who care about it, the better chance there is of consequences actually being imposed and improvements being made. It’s an uphill battle, and we sure could use all the help we can get.

Ok, maybe you’re now intrigued enough to give hockey a shot. What will it take to get you invested in a practically mint condition brand new Detroit Red Wings team today?

I am obviously biased but trust me the Red Wings are the team for you. We’ve already hit rock bottom, probably, and are rebuilding our way back to being a championship team. This is the perfect time to get on board! And Wings fans are content creating machines. Blogs, podcasts, deep dive articles, memes, fancams, highlight montages, random digital art and much more. However you like to consume content, we’ve got it hot and ready for you.

Plus, there are a million rabbit holes to fall down and a lot of history to discover if you choose to get invested in the team. Which you should. Just look up Fight Night at the Joe and begin the journey (shut up hockey fans I know fighting is actually bad but this is how we get people in the door).

WE ARE HOCKEYTOWN. JOIN US IN THE VOID.

Uhhhh I mean, watch some hockey it is very fun and if you are an online kind of person then I will speak for both Winging it in Motown and Red Wings Twitter and say we are eager to bring you into our happy hocky bubble and will appreciate the heck out of you for giving us a tryout.

And if anyone gives you crap for being a “new” fan or because you didn’t know something or whatever stupid reason they feel the need to gatekeep I will summon an army and fight them.

Any questions? Leave a comment or fire off a tweet and a Red Wings fan will happily throw entirely too much information at you like an octopus soaring majestically onto the ice (look it up it’s a thing).

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