WIIM Bold Predictions: Team Berniervoyant
Welcome back for the second and final round of BOLD PREDICTIONS!
Just like yesterday’s group, we have nothing but the best, boldest predictions for your reading pleasure.
Today’s group consists of JJ, Prashanth, Kyle, and me. Enjoy!
Prediction 1: Dylan Larkin will be in the top five in Selke voting this season
Prashanth: Can you win the Selke when you spend half your time in the penalty box?
Kyle: And yet he still won’t be considered a top-50 player by NHL
Peter: Will be disqualified because 10 hockey writers accidentally list him as a defenseman
Prediction 2: Pittsburgh will miss the playoffs in 2018-19 2019-20
Prashanth: I...don’t think that this is that far out there. Or maybe that’s just me being salty about The-Stanley-Cup-Finals-That-Didn’t-Actually-Happen
Kyle: you were close
Peter: I will have to go see my doctor 4 hours after this happens.
Prediction 3: Zach Werenski will be a Red Wing by July 1st 2020; Anthony Mantha will not
Prashanth: Oh God the FSD specials would be never-ending
Kyle: you get a kiss if you’re right
Peter: Because someone will break their hand on his head, and there are rules
Prediction 4: Edmonton will win a playoff round.
Prashanth: What century?
Kyle: of golf
Peter: McDavid leads the team by shooting 4 over par.
Prediction 5: Trevor Daley will lead the Red Wings’ defense in games played this season.
Prashanth: Tank SZN is here
Kyle: Will have the lowest point total of any D as well
Peter: So, we’re finally achieving your goal of an all-center team?
Prediction 1: Taro Hirose finishes 3rd on the team in points behind Dylan Larkin and Andreas Athanasiou
JJ: Anthony Mantha’s name change confuses fans and enrages stats geeks everywhere.
Kyle: This would be a miracle seeing who he’s playing with
Peter: And first in the number of times opposing announcers mispronounce his name.
Prediction 2: At least half of the Red Wings opening night defensive lineup is not on the roster by the end of the season
JJ: I agree with this one but I’m also terrified it doesn’t mean Green, Daley, and Ericsson are out.
Kyle: the wrong half, probably
Peter: Or in the NHL
Prediction 3: Alex Ovechkin scores fewer than 35 goals
JJ: Wrong kind of “getting on a line” with Evgeny Kuznetsov?
Kyle: shut UP prashanth.
Peter: The deleterious effects of drunken fountain pushups take a full season to really manifest.
Prediction 4: Dylan Larkin finishes in the top-10 in the league in points
JJ: Strongest index finger in the league.
Kyle: Still not a top-50 player, according to NHL writers
Peter: NHL Network lists him as the 61st best center next season
Prediction 5: The Carolina Hurricanes finish with the best record in the NHL
JJ: I can’t snark on a prediction I’m rooting this hard for.
Kyle: Get blasted in the 1st round of the playoffs
Peter: And it’s because they bring us Storm Surge - Part Two: This time it’s surgier
Prediction 1: Dylan Larkin does NOT lead the team in scoring this season
JJ: I should have written my response before he left practice early on Tuesday.
Prashanth: Did you trip Dylan Larkin to win this one?
Peter: This only increases the fervor of the “Give Larks the C” twitter movement
Prediction 2: Neither Bernier or Howard are the starter after trade deadline
JJ: Calvin “Lottery” Pickard
Prashanth: IT’S FILIP LARSSON SEASON BABY
Prediction 3: Red Wings have THREE 20-goal scorers this season
JJ: Not bold enough. Go five or go home.
Prashanth: Is this because everyone gets traded as they hit 19 goals?
Peter: Fans want to trade one of them for an overrated defenseman
Prediction 4: Filip Hronek becomes a top-15 scoring D
JJ: In Columbus!
Prashanth: My body is ready
Peter: Sure, I’ll buy that
Prediction 5: 1st overall, baby
JJ: Won after we trade Glendening to a contender for a first, they miss the playoffs, and we win the lottery with their pick.
Prashanth: Show your derrière for Lafreniere
Peter: I’m going to have to see the doctor AGAIN four hours after this happens.
Prediction 1: Detroit wins one of the three lottery picks
JJ: “Win” implies it’s outside of their standings positioning.
Prashanth: Considering the Wings lottery luck of late, this is quite the bold pick
Kyle: They’ll get 3rd, behind Chicago and Edmonton.
Prediction 2: Michael Rasmussen leads the AHL in Power Play Points
JJ: Guaranteeing himself on the Griffins’ top PP unit in 2020-21
Prashanth: This is very spicy and yet I find it hard to disagree with
Kyle: but how many NHL points?
Prediction 3: The NHL changes the Rangers dumb and long hashtag to something that is somehow worse.
Prashanth: This made me go look it up and oh god it’s gonna become #KakkoSZN isn’t it?
Kyle: Rangers miss the playoffs
Prediction 4: Frans Nielsen plays fewer than 41 regular season games for Detroit :(
JJ: I’ll go bolder and say it’s below 20.
Prashanth: The Islanders can have him back
Kyle: Come on up, Joey V.
Prediction 5: The new rule involving players receiving a penalty for not leaving the ice after their helmet is dislodged leads to a controversial call in the playoffs.
JJ: The controversy is an argument about whether a player has to leave the ice if his helmet is still attached when his head is taken clean off thanks to playoff reffing
Prashanth: I can’t wait to see Vegas get burned by this
Kyle: it won’t involve the red wings, so, fine.