WIIM Bold Predictions: Team Tarot Hirose
We are back for another round of BOLD PREDICTIONS!
As we’ve done in the past, we have racked our brains to come up with only the best, artisan, organic, grass-fed bold predictions, so that you can make a ton of money betting on them.*
Today’s group will be two-time reigning champion Sara, accompanied by Jack, Josh, and Rob. Come back tomorrow for our other group.
(* that was a joke. It’s probably a bad idea to use any of these as the basis for real money bets.)
Prediction 1: 20 goal scorer Taro Hirose CATCH THE FEVER
Jack: Goals instead of assists?
Josh: Made all the more impressive if he does it while sharing the most ice time with Nielsen and Erne
Rob: Be careful cafching fevers, they have been known to cause hallucinations.
Prediction 2: Danny DeKeyser career high in points
Jack: In on this! All aboard the Hronek-DDK hype train!!
Josh: He almost has to with the minutes he’s about to get
Rob: Is 31, set back in the 2014-15 season and not likely to be reached again.
Prediction 3: Christoffer Ehn is traded
Jack: For a bag of pucks?
Josh: Bert and Erne go on a short lasting hunger strike in response
Rob: That is a funny way to spell unclaimed on waivers.
Prediction 4: Wings end up in a 13+ round shootout
Jack: That probably results in them losing out on Alexis Lafreniere when they win
Josh: The winner is scored by Abdelkader, the only game winner he scores
Rob: Because the first 12 rounds were all seven defensemen, Luke Glendening, Darren Helm, Justin Abdelkader, Adam Erne and Christoffer Ehn.
Prediction 5: WINGS WILDCARD PLAYOFFS HERE WE COME
Jack: I’ll have what you’re having
Josh: And in the very rare event that fails, the whole team can have a BBQ at my place, my treat
Rob: Just give them two more years to get there.
Prediction 1: Hirose gets 40 assists
Sara: AND the 20 goals I predicted, and he only gets points on #TacoTuesdays
Josh: Setting up Athanasiou for another 30+
Rob: 30 of which go directly to Athanasiou.
Prediction 2: Svechnikov scores 30 goals across both leagues
Sara: Those leagues being the AHL and a GR Foosball Club.
Josh: I’m afraid to know what the split is
Rob: 29 for Grand Rapids and 1 for Detroit.
Prediction 3: Veleno and Zadina are both up before 2020
Sara: Zadina scores in Montreal, and Habs fans furiously tweet about Zadina holding Veleno back.
Josh: Just please not at the expense of injuries to Larkin, Mantha, Bert, and AA
Prediction 4: Hronek surpasses 40 points
Sara: Please say “39+1” out of respect for those of us still emotionally distressed by “40”
Josh: Great minds think alike
Rob: But still does not get more power play time than Mike Green.
Prediction 5: The Tampa Bay Lightning actually, finally, win the Stanley Cup
Sara: I’m not sure stealing the Cup in an elaborate plot involving a thousand balloons, a catapult, and 3 medium sized elephants can be called “winning”
Josh: On the back of Witkowski of course
Rob: By beating Colorado and thus continuing Yzerman’s dominance over the Avs.
Prediction 1: Hronek, Cholowski, and Kaski all play more games in a Red Wings uniform than Green, Daley, and Ericsson this season
Sara: PLOT TWIST: Cholowski and Kaski play those games wearing the uniforms of Daley, and Ericsson. Green has a plague named after him.
Jack: My goodness, this would be awesome.
Rob: But Green, Daley and Ericsson still lead them in giveaways.
Prediction 2: Anthony Mantha scores 40 goals, plays all 82 games
Sara: Only if he plays with Pass Master Filppula, the Finnish King of No Finish.
Jack: Also awesome.
Rob: Fans still complain that he is not consistent enough and lazy.
Prediction 3: Jimmy Howard signs a multi-year extension
Sara: With a psychiatric program after forcing all the defensemen to race through a maze of death traps
Jack: Please no. It’s time to just move on.
Rob: With Buffalo
Prediction 4: Hronek pots 50 points, 20+ on the powerplay
Sara: It was a bold move to play Hronek 45 minutes a game, but it worked
Jack: Now we are talking really bold
Rob: And Mike Green still averages more PP time.
Prediction 5: Zadina isn’t called up once until the new year but scores 10+ goals to end the season
Sara: A Zadina GWG somehow eliminates the Habs from the playoffs and also the NHL
Jack: Go Griffins!
Rob: Fans complain he ruined the Wings draft lottery position.
Prediction 1: The top scoring defenseman will surpass Kronwall’s team defensemen leading 27 points from last year.
Sara: But they will not surpass his place IN MY HEART
Jack: We all know who! Hronek Hype!!
Josh: Cholowski and Hronek both do, with Hronek doubling it
Prediction 2: The Red Wings will have five players with 20 goals this season
Sara: And one of them will be Jimmy Howard. Make Sega Genesis NHL goalie breakaway goals great again!
Jack: AA, Mantha, Larkin....?
Josh: Mantha, Larkin, Athanasiou, Bertuzzi......and.....Hirose?
Prediction 3: Justin Abdelkader will score 10 goals this season
Sara: And all of them successfully challenged for goaltender interference.
Jack: And his contract will still be immovable
Josh: for your Grand Rapids Griffins
Prediction 4: More than one Red Wing will deserve an All Star nod
Sara: Deserve? Yes. Receive? HRONEK because the NHL ignores our forwards.
Jack: Larkin will still be snubbed
Josh: Spicy Meatball Mantha going to pile up goals this year, AA beats Larkin’s record time
Prediction 5: The Red Wings will be within five points of a Wild Card spot on February 1st.
Jack: I hope not. Sell! Tank! Rinse! Repeat! (until 2021)
Josh: We did say go bold