Dear Predators Faithful,
Nobody cares about you. Your team is garbage. You didn’t make the playoffs and aren’t worth the time it takes to spit out 1,000 words about how meaningless your team is. If this were a real funeral, it would be held outside on the outskirts of town where the corpse of your season is unceremoniously dumped and left for carrion. Digging an unmarked grave is more work than it’s worth for you. Get bent.
Sincerely,
Me.
