Once upon a time in 2019, I wrote an article with advice for Red Wings fans on how to cope with watching our team get bad. If I could find it, I would link it. Let’s all agree it was depressingly delightful.
Now with the surge of success, I decided it was time to finally write a new chapter of the story. Let’s talk about where we are now, a place where even the most skeptical have a tiny “what if” simmering in their hearts. What do you do when your team gets good?
Let me give you some options…
Recruit
Don’t malign bandwagon fans. Don’t just tolerate bandwagon fans. Don’t merely accept bandwagon fans. Get out there and recruit! Many are saying “the Red Wings are a wagon”. Well, prove it. The Lions paved the way, showed that there are a lot of sports fans hiding in the woodwork ready to tear shit up if only given the opportunity. And now those same Lions fans may be eager to keep the party going and become Lyon’s fans.
At least half of all Red Wings fans work in marketing apparently, go put those skills to better use than getting a paycheck and reel in some fans! Be so awesome and welcoming that they stay for life, through good times and bad. Ok this is starting to get a little wedding-ish so let’s move on.
Be Insufferable
We’ve been sustaining ourselves on little glimpses of victory, often at the expense of others. Sweeping the Habs when we were arguably one of the worst teams of the Cap era – still funny. Playing spoiler, watching two teams we hate tear each other apart, consoling ourselves with The Yzerplan.
But now it’s time to unleash your worst self.
Go searching for posts that said Seider isn’t elite, Raymond is a bust, the Yzerplan has failed, etc. Bring receipts. Know you’re being provoked by people desperate for attention and jump in anyway. Mercilessly taunt teams that are outside the playoff bubble and brush off their attempts to say “oh yeah, well-”
Don’t forget to play defense as well. Unleash hell and damnation on anyone (in any fanbase) who is being bigoted, etc. You can really shine and explore creativity in your insults to protect your fellow fans who need someone obnoxious and relentless to stand between them and the Worst People On The Internet.
Harden Your Heart
You can see all the cracks in the team. You know how thin the threads are that are holding the playoff dream together. Everyone going on social media and dunking on old posts that at the time were fair and valid is a fool.
Sure the Wings are looking great now, but are never more than an injury or two away from losing momentum. Add in a bad back-to-back loss (we just had a mid back-to-back loss that isn’t crushing…but it was a reality check) and suddenly we’re outside looking in. We saw it last year with the Rasmussen injury and the Sens series, it would be tempting fate to act like that can’t happen again.
Especially as an Atlantic Division team, not some joke Division like everyone else. It’s like taking an exam and telling yourself that you failed, that way the C+ seems like a huge victory. You like to keep those expectations low and prepare for disappointment so you can be pleasantly surprised when something good happens.
Escape From Real Life
The world sucks. Reality sucks. Everybody needs something to bring them joy, why not the Red Wings? Get invested. Go all in. Read every article, listen to every podcast, actually understand charts and graphs and numbers, make memes (but not too many or I’m out of a job), do all the things that surround you in hockey vibes and push away all the things in life that are dragging you down.
Make some new online pals, especially if you’re an out-of-state fan (like me) it can be hard to find your people offline. So, find them online. With the disclaimer, that you aren’t obligated to talk to anyone. Hit the block button with gusto!
Make your Red Wings Reality a utopia, and cross your fingers the team doesn’t let you down.
Don’t Stop Complaining
Hold on to that feel-aye-ee-aye-aye-in. Some of us are at our best when the going gets tough. And if the going isn’t tough, make it tough. Blame Jeff Petry for life’s woes. Point out that everything rides on Alex Lyon being a brick wall. A brick wall guarded by lions. A brick wall guarded by Detriot lions and cat lions and lion statues brought to life by the Red Wings witches coven.
Complain about how our fanbase is embarrassing in how easy it is to bait into online arguments that accomplish nothing but give the clickbait-ers a feeling of success and possibly ad revenue if they are truly terrible.
Complain about how flawed fancy stats are and that they haven’t found a way to truly measure Heart/60, Hustle/60, and GRIT/60.
Complain about national broadcasts.
COMPLAIN ABOUT THE GARBAGE PATCH.
Ignore the Fan Police
You don’t have to do anything special to be a Red Wings fan. You don’t have to have money or serotonin. Your feelings are never too big or too small. You don’t have to live in Michigan or go to games. You don’t have to remember the various years that are better off forgotten and wear that misery like a badge of honor (you are not a Canada team fan). You don’t have to be able to watch games. You should know at least one player’s name, but you don’t need to recognize them by their faces when they aren’t in uniform.
Tune in at whatever level you want, and don’t ever feel like you’re not a “real fan”. Anyone who tells anyone they aren’t a real fan should drive a zamboni into a volcano.
So, how are we feeling? What’s your fan plan for the coming weeks?
