Playoff Scoreboard Watch: Hockey Night Outside Canada

Kiss my ass, non-eliminated teams.

The start of Spring chores season is upon us, as it gives us something to take our minds off watching other people have fun. Of course, if you don't feel like doing chores, who am I to stop you from hanging out and talking hockey with the other Saturday slackers around here?


WOOHOO Ladies and gentlemen! We've got another bunch of losers joining us at the Elimination Station! Welcome aboard, Los Angeles Kings, you glorious losers in five games to the San Jose Sharks. The Sharks got goals from my favorite duo, "Hold me closer" Tierney-Donskoi as they pounded Milan Lucic's ugly stupid face out of the postseason 6-3. I guess some people are sad that this is now the end of Vinny Lecavalier's career, but you had to know it was coming for a team that has a bad defenseman wearing #52.

Meanwhile, the Caps were unable to finish off the Flyers in their game 5, but not for lack of trying. Washington outshot Philadelphia 44-11 (yes, 11) on their way to a 2-0 loss that's going to send their series back to the City of Brotherly Bracelet-Tossing. Noted potato-nose Ryan White scored early in the 2nd and Chris "processed cheese" Vandevelveeta put in an empty-netter for good measure.

Dallas had a chance to finish off Minnesota at home last night and immediately spotted the Wild a 2-0 lead because that's just how Dallas works sometimes. The Stars fought back and even had a 4-3 lead with 11 minutes left to go in the game, but Mikko Koivu has thousands of mouths to feed so he tied it up and then won it in the first overtime period.

Last but not least, the series that has probably been the most-overlooked one of the entire playoffs, we had the Islanders and Panthers playing to break a 2-2 series tie last night. Honestly, these two teams have been putting on some really fun to watch hockey. The 2-1 Isles victory wasn't a high-scoring affair, but the fact that it took two overtime periods to accomplish added a ton of suspense. Former Red Wings draft pick Alan Quine put away the game-winner for the Isles, who will try to finish out the series in front of their favorite front-row automobile in game 6.


Match-Up #1: New York Rangers at Pittsburgh Penguins (Game 5), 3:00PM EDT - NBC, TVAS, SN360

Pittsburgh Leads 3-1

The Penguins have more than twice as many goals as the Rangers so far and this series is as good as over. The Rangers don't have any answers and even Henrik Lundqvist can't stop the inevitable. Crosby and Malkin lead the Penguins so far in this one to the point where the Penguins don't even miss Marc-Andre Fleury.

Why You Care Enough To Watch: With the Capitals looking suddenly more-beatable than they did, it'll be fun to see whether their 2nd round opponent is going to be better rested going into that series. I know it feels dirty to watch the Penguins win, but the Rangers are so easy to hate that it's ok putting off the anybody-but-the-Penguins stuff for the short remainder of this series.

Match-Up #2: Nashville Predators vs. Anaheim Ducks (Game 5), 6:00PM EDT - NBCSN, TVAS, SN, PRIME, FS-TN

Series tied 2-2

Neither team has won a home game in this series, so I guess the advantage is to the underdog Predators here? I don't know. Leave it up to these teams to play the dumbest series of the first round.

Why You Care Enough To Watch: Sometimes it's fun to just root against everybody, and this series has no shortage of people to root against. Getzlaf, Perry, Boudreau, Kesler, Weber, Ribeiro, Jarnkrok, Conway, Banks, Averman, etc. I mean, there are some fun people to watch too, like Filip Forsberg and Cam Fowler has a funny name for a guy who plays for the Ducks.

I dunno. Because it's the game that's on before you get to the Blues/Hawks game later?

Match-Up #3: St. Louis Blues vs. Chicago Blackhawks (Game 6), 8:00PM EDT - NBC, CBC, TVAS2

Blues lead 3-2

The closest series that almost went five, the Blues and Hawks have not had a single game that was decided by more than one goal. Chicago survived game 5 on Thursday with a double overtime goal after letting the Blues catch up on them in regulation. Now the Blues have to try and knock the Hawks off at the United Center (where they've already won twice in the postseason).

Why You Care Enough To Watch: The old Central Division hatred still flows through you like shit flows through Andrew Shaw's veins. Vladimir Tarasenko is too fun to not watch.