NHL on TNT starts us off with its typical compelling television aside from the venerable Christos Kostas Chelios. The panel talks to Chelly about getting punched in the face, and Chelly is the consummate professional even though you can see plain as day on his face that all he wants to do while he’s there is punch Bissonnette right in his noisemaker. Chelios says, “I was never in a bad mood in Detroit.” He also tells a fun little story about saunas, beer, and Scotty Bowman. Love ya, Chelly.
Shesterkin out. Fox out. Laviolette says they’ve been too messy in front of their own net as shown by their paltry 8-2-1 record. Let’s drop the puck already and watch that dynamic Red Wings offense!
1st Period
A couple of dangerous chances for the Rangers right out of the gate. Fabbri gets easily beat to the outside, and the Rangers’ 4th shot from Trocheck easily beats Husso to the far side.
1-0 Rangers just 100 seconds in.
The Red Wings immediately regroup by allowing a 2-minute shift in their own zone. Lulling the Rangers into a false sense of security is certainly a strategy. Just over 3 minutes in and the Rangers have 8 shots on net. That’s on pace for 160 for the game. Husso is the only Wing to “control” the puck so far. Hooray for starting on time.
Nifty little gathering in front of Husso by Maatta and he gets tripped up by Wheeler for his effort. We’re off to a Red Wings Power Play! Raymond gets a decently dangerous shot off the initial draw (hey, faceoffs!) but that’s literally the only thing either unit is able to manufacture.
Kostin nearly has an awful giveaway in the d-zone, then follows it up with his second thunderous hit of the period. Something nice had to be said about the Wings. Apparently the refs made a questionable holding call as Larkin brought the puck in offside, so we’re off to another Red Wings Power Play! Nice-looking give and go by Larkin and Debrincat for the Wings’ second shot of the game. That’s the only dangerous thing they could muster.
The Wings continue to look like they couldn’t find the puck in the D-zone with a map. Husso makes a really strong glove save with two minutes left, and by my count, even strength shots on goal are 13-0 in favor of NYR. As I type that, Sprong hits the iron to break our hearts. Shesterkin did get a slice of it, so with less than a minute to go, we have our first 5×5 SOG!
End 1. NYR 1 – DRW 0
2nd Period
Wheeler is headed back to the sin bin for the second time tonight for giving Petry a gentle, loving hug. Red Wings Power Play #3! They start with the 2nd unit, and immediately the Rangers get two grade-A shorthanded chances. 1:13 left on the Power Play for the top unit and Tanguay is chuckling on the bench. Wings are 0-3 on the Power Play already tonight and look absolutely hapless. They do get one shot on goal in the form of a Rookie of the Year “Floater” from Gostisbehere to Quick.
K’Andre Miller’s got ups. Joe Veleno’s got downs. Ville Husso’s got saves. I’m not checking stats, but I’m pretty sure 50% of our shots on goal and 75% of our shot attempts have come from Gostisbehere at the blue line. A decent bit of pressure from the Wings’ top line results in a chance for Debrincat, but Quick’s glove is up to the task.
Bad Copp to prison for a hooking that I never saw. Time for a Red Wings Penalahhhh.
2-0 Rangers
Giving Kreider a quick tip-in goal on the power play wasn’t enough for the refs. Christian Fischer to the box for existing tripping. Time for a Red Wings Penalty Kill. And Trocheck the Wing Killer strikes again.
3-0 Rangers
Jesper Fast Dylan Larkin had a chance but couldn’t bury it. Everyone is looking frustrated. The Rangers are playing well, but they are not playing nearly as well as the Wings are playing awful. Lalonde says he doesn’t mind our five-on-five game. Very short-term memory take on his part as he better not be including the first period in that assessment.
Rangers continue their onslaught since the Wings just want no part of controlling or even touching the damn puck.
4-0 Rangers
Some kid at MSG had a sign that said its his birthday tonight. Maybe that’s why the Wings keep gifting the Rangers repeatedly. What philanthropists.
Petry had a look that didn’t go. The Rangers are doing what we all want to do and are just trying to take the rest of the night off. And yet, that still results in sustained pressure in the Wings’ zone aaaaand.
5-0 Rangers
Husso is still in the game for absolutely no reason. Walman cross checked someone. Wings back to the penalty kill. Hopefully it lasts longer than I would on a bull, but this game has officially unraveled.
Wings kill the penalty. As the Rangers cycle in the zone over the next 90 seconds, Jimmy Vesey casually asks a linesman if they can just “kneel on the puck”. Kreider gets a breakaway and misses intentionally to keep the clock ticking. Refs do what they do best and screw everything up with a questionable tripping call on K’Andre Miller with 2 seconds left and we’re going to a Red Wings Power Play. Fresh ice a-comin’. Just what we need to kickstart a 6th unanswered goal in the third.
End 2 NYR 5 – DRW 0
3rd Period
So the Wings start the period on the Power Play, and wouldn’t you know it? You wouldn’t know it. Husso stops another grade-A shorthanded chance from Kreider. Sprong misses a one-timer by three-quarters of a mile, the most impressive feat by a Red Wing all night so far. The Red Wings Power Play has yet to find a single hap.
Vesey rings one off the post after finding himself all alone in the heart of the slot. The Red Wings seemingly have zero interest in doing anything for their goaltender. The referees continue their pity party and send the Wings back to the Power Play for the fifth time tonight. Perron had a bit of a chance. So did Fast after a nice feed from Noesek. But hold onto your butts. K’Andre Miller to the box for puck over the glass. Wings five-on-three Power Play for 53 seconds! Seider drop-passes to Larkin because we’ve all missed that so much, then he gets it back and has a clear lane to the net but elects not to shoot and instead passes to Perron who’s below the goal line in the corner for reasons.
Compher gets an actual grade-A chance with 15 seconds left on the penalty to Miller and rings the iron and Quick’s shutout continues. This game needs to end and be immediately forgotten.
Are you glad I said “shutout”? Rasmussen hits iron and it goes in!
5-1 Rangers
Are you glad I said “shutout”? Klim Kostin makes a real nice move through the slot and buries the backhand!
5-2 Rangers
A little bit of chaos ensues, but then Kreider rings the iron, reminding both teams whose game this is tonight. Moments later, Kostin has another great shift and nearly creates a third goal. The Red Wings now have 8 minutes to score 4.
Wings are suddenly unable to establish any sustained possession after putting on a Puck Control Clinic all night. Moritz Seider does his best audition for Hole in the Wall to break up a 2-on-1. Off the ensuing faceoff, the Wings’ top line is able to generate a few rushes, but they’ve got nothing going in. Nobody wants a snakebit Cat.
Are you glad I said “shutout”? Rangers forgot they’re supposed to play defense, and Copp snaps a wrister into the shelf!
5-3 Rangers
Rangers are mad now. Panarin, Zibanejad, and Trocheck all scare me in rapid fashion. Larkin had a real nice backcheck to hit the pause button.
2:50 left and there goes Husso. Refs don’t call a penalty on Walman for tripping and the Rangers ice the puck. 6-on-5 with 2:35 to go. Rasmussen with a great check on Trocheck to prevent the empty netter. Another Rangers icing with 1:48. The Rangers on the ice are tired, but the Wings are rapidly running out of time on their improbable comeback. Seider is really not doing a great job holding the blue line and that’ll do it.
Final Thoughts:
Being able to do that in the third period somehow makes the first 40 minutes of ‘effort’ all the less forgivable. When you do your job that badly in the real world, you either lose your job or it comes out of your paycheck. I hereby declare all players and coaches are required to donate two-thirds of their paycheck from tonight to St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital. Again, great third period. They, however, should under no circumstances be forgiven for that performance in the first 40. Thanks for reading this, Newsy.
