The Red Wings of Detroit have now lost three games in a row to the Blue Jackets, the Columbus Blue Jackets, and the dead last place Calgary Flames. Did the very spooky Wednesday the 13th have to do with this? Perhaps. It’s a very bad luck type of day, as you know. Add the Hudler Curse in there and that’s some scary stuff. ooooOOOOOOOoooooo. whooooOOOOOOOoooodler.
God this sucked.
- We have to talk about the pregame show, because I know many of you don’t watch it and you need to know that this happened: Because of Detroit’s awful road power play, they came up with the idea to put a whole bunch of appliances on the desk — a phone, a toaster and a lava lamp, among others — with the intention to transfer the power generated from these things through some sort of vague, karma-fied seance thing. Only, the weirdest part of the whole thing was how that was it. They just set some shit on top of a desk and labeled it as a collective power source. I wanted to type this whole thing out just to see if it would make any more sense, and it doesn’t. (A TOASTER.)
- Jimmy Howard was out with the flu, so Jonas Gustavsson got another crack at being a real life NHL goalie. After three hours of watching that, I must ask you to please wash your hands next time, Jim.
- Wings out-shot Calgary 15-6 in the 1st period and went back to the dressing room down 2-1. They looked outstanding save for two moments of weakness: some over-pursuing at the blue line and a big rebound (plus a bad bounce) which contributed to Calgary’s two goals. That sounds exactly like the recipe for how the Wings of the previous two decades used to lose games, so I actually took this as a positive.
- March 13th, 2013, losing 2-1 to the Calgary Flames at the start of Period 2, I witness Mike Babcock smile for the first time in my life. I took a Polaroid picture of my television, rubber banded it to a brick, and chucked it through my bedroom window. I don’t want to see that shit. Not in my house. It’s “Babcock’s Death Stare”, not big happy coach time.
- (Mr. Babcock if by some chance you read this I am so sorry please don’t find me or look at me)
- I expected things to balance out a bit in the 2nd period, but surprisingly the Flames responded with even fewer shots than they had in the 1st, and Gustavsson made a big save or two. The Wings even managed to score a goal while on the man advantage. So yeah, all that shit with the toasters and the lava lamps worked, Fox Sports, you weirdos. How about next time you put some alphabet soup on the desk and see if Carlo Colaiacovo appears from whatever sinkhole he fell into.
- That PPG went to Valtteri Filppula, who was fantastic for the most part in his return from injury. WINGIN’ IT FAST FACT™: there have been more Popes in 2013 than road power play goals by the Red Wings.
- The last road power play goal before tonight was scored by Tomas Holmstrom. That’s not a joke.
- …And then the 3rd period happened. I don’t know why it happened — I’m sure league rules mandating that a third one be played had something to do with it — but as for what transpired in the period, I do not understand. Actually, I kind of do. Jonas Gustavsson stopped 14 of 19 shots, and Miikka Kiprusoff stopped 36 of 38. It’s obviously a bit more complex than that, and on a few of the goals there was more than just goalie blame to go around, but that dude in the crease (or at least near it, since he seems to enjoy drifting out of it like a fucking dead body at sea) didn’t help at all.
Fuck.
